CASSANDRA A. FORTIN: NEW SUPPORT WEB SITE >>>
When Chaplain (Capt.) Scott Koeman deployed to Iraq in 2003, family, friends, and church members embraced his wife, Benita, and their children. However, his second deployment was another story.
"People who were there for me the first time didn't come through with their offers of help the second time around," said Benita Koeman, 40, who resides in DuPont, with her husband and three children. "I felt abandoned and isolated."
For months, Koeman struggled with her feelings about the lack of support she received during her husband's deployment. In response, about a year ago, she launched operationwearehere.com, a Web site that includes devotionals, prayers, Facebook groups that spouses can join to talk to other wives who are dealing with deployments, checklists, and links to other Web sites.
"I wanted to give young military wives a place to go where they could talk to other wives going through the same thing," she said. "I wanted to give them information that I didn't have when my husband deployed."
Koeman also plans to use the site to inform churches and community members about how to best assist families during military deployments, she said.
"I want to make sure people know that there is still a war on. People need to understand that families still need to be taken of, and they still need their support," she said.
In some cases, people don't know how to help, and families don't know how to ask for assistance, she said.
"It's very awkward to have to ask someone at your church to help you," said Koeman. "I'm sending the link to my Web site to churches so that members can read about the personal experiences of the families of deployed soldiers. If they understand what we go through, they might get ideas about how they can help."
Kathy Killgore of Steilacoom finds the Web site invaluable. There's something for everyone, said Killgore, who is no stranger to deployments. Her husband, Chaplain (Lt. Col.) Thomas Killgore, has been deployed or gone about half of his 21-year career.
"The Web site is a one-stop source for almost everything we deal with when our loved ones are deployed," she said. "It contains information for the spouses, the children, the extended family, and churches. I've been through many deployments, and there are things on the site that I didn't know about. I think it's a great, all-inclusive resource."
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