It sure does seem like I picked the prrrrfect time to move my little fanny on down to this Tacoma from that tired 206.

I’ve been here for less than a year, and as each week passes and my discoveries continue, I feel more and more like I’m in the center of the universe and in the spot where everything is happening.

New bars, businesses, galleries, events and people galore.

But since I’m the newbie columnist, I apparently haven’t accrued enough experience to contribute to the Weekly Volcano’s Best of Tacoma issue on July 26, I’ll just stick to what I know best.

Here’s the Best of Carmen Jones

• Blond hair
• Six feet of sass
• Flirtability
• Flexibility
• Athleticism
• Smarty pants
• Monster gazoombas
• Fashion flair
• Pedicured toes
• A slight attitude problem
• A contagious smile and laugh
• FUN.

So Natasha is big on pushing Love Tacoma, but I have my own program: I think you should Love Carmen.

*Smooch*

Cans (not like my own two)

Natasha sneaked me into the Cans friends and family opening last Tuesday, and boy was that a blast. The joint was packed with all kinds of people, mostly from the industry. We sat with Tacoma celebrities like the model squad in Ebony, Shawn, Rose, Renee and Dave. They departed, and Joy, Lindsey and Mama Jess swept in. After rockin’ out to the mix of fun pop music, Natasha, Mama Jess and I made our exit for a casual drink with Little Hef and Ariel where we held a disgusting and entertaining convo about vermin of all shapes and sizes. What a way to end the night.

South Sound’s top magazine

My day job scored me a ticket into Premier Media Group’s magazine re-launch party at Masa last Wednesday. Their flagship publication is now known as South Sound: Home. Garden. Life. This function was filled with all kinds of celebrities including Olivia, Angie, The Big Shooter, The Husky, New Friend Geoff, Xitco Xpress, KC and someone who I immediately found to be amazing, Caren. After we relaxed on Masa’s deck, KC, Caren and I headed to Asado for the best dinner in Tacoma. When they went home, Olivia and I wound up shutting Tacoma down at Doyle’s. Oooh, that next day at work was a tough one, but I survived, as always.

Best of softball

Friday my softball team won YET AGAIN, but this was a close one. We won by one run in an extra inning. Ross saved the day with a sweet defensive third-out catch and a smooth triple that would score the winning run. As for me, well, I had two great hits (pulled it to right field again!) and some critical throw-downs from second base. We have a good shot at winning the league. Cross your fingers!

When the game was through, I rushed home so I could meet up with the fun crowd at Puget Sound Pizza: Natasha, Rosie, Blucifer, Ginger Knoxx, Kake, Rock Star Carl, Pappi Swarner, Ebony, Shawn, Battle-Battle-Battle, PSP Jim and my own Syd Vicious. After Bluecifer’s scintillating karaoke version of “Love on the Rocks” where he threw chairs and made love to the audience, Syd and I headed to Cans where the entire bar was singing Bon Jovi’s “Living on a Prayer.” Sweet! Syd and I had so much fun at Cans that we rocked it until 2 a.m. Thank you for the safe ride home, Syd!

Best bud from college

One of my homies from college, Nick, visited me on Saturday, and we made the rounds. Dinner at Matador, followed by drinks and love at the Parkway, Magoo’s and Doyle’s. He had to make an early departure due to wastedness, but I held my own to conclude another blissful Saturday.

Urban Art Festvial rulz

Rain and hail couldn’t keep me away from the Urban Art Festival on Sunday, and I just kept on singing “Under my umbrella, ella, ella, A-A-A.” I don’t know anything about the previous years, but I kept agreeing with everyone that the layout was AWESOME in and around Fireman’s Park. The highlights for me were Daniel Blue’s rock opera fashion show and the dual rainbow that came out during Vicci Martinez’s performance.  The creators of the Urban Art Festival deserved that rainbow, too, as does all of Tacoma.

I’m Carmen, your new chameleon.  Drop me your favorite parties here.