Surreal Ultra Lounge

Where: 728 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.722.5489
Hours: 4 p.m. to 2 a.m. Monday-Saturday
Cuisine: Loosely Pan-Asian with a variety of sliders, small plates and appetizers
Scene: Cocktail bar, cabana type lounge for dining, DJ and dance floor, upstairs pool tables and VIP seating areas. 21+ only. It's all about the drinks, looking good and being seen by the self-important. Twice nightly happy hour 4-7 p.m. and 11 p.m. to close
Drinkies: Specialty cocktails, bottled beer only, wine, bottle service
Prices: Non-happy hour dining menu $5.95-$12.95. Happy hour small plates $3-$6

ANNOUNCER: Dance club, cocktail lounge, bar, restaurant. What is it? Surreal Ultra Lounge may have a split personality. New businesses go through changes as they solidify their identity and discern what their target demographic wants. Surreal is no different. Four months after opening, the Pacific Avenue business opens at 4 p.m. not 11 a.m. Dance club and bar clientele appear to be the focus of the moment though a twice nightly happy hour with small plate and appetizer menu dominated by Pan-Asian cuisine by Chef Victor Canjie is offered in addition to plenty of slider options. Nachos, chips and salsa, fries, wings, and flatbread are still available.

JAKE: Man, this place has an incredible amount of potential. The well lit high-top seating right inside the front doors is fairly comfortable. On our first visit earlier this summer, we went upstairs to play pool. I watched the bartender text while our drinks sat empty. Instantly I was pissed. She said she was checking on our food. Them instantly I was pleased: within a few minutes, spiced ground lamb sliders arrived via a downstairs server. Two to an order on toasted little buns smeared with feta cheese, they bookended a pile of shoestring fries lightly hit with rich Italian truffle salt. Sliced apple and red grapes accompanied four varieties of cheese - hearty blobs of soft black pepper and herb flecked goat cheese, pure white tangy goat cheese, wedges of creamy brie, and funky gorgonzola. Crackers were not stale. I said a little prayer of thanks and sipped a bottled Blue Moon.

JASON: Jerk - in relation to food not you, Jake - means scotch bonnet chili peppers, habaneros or at least a healthy dose of cayenne that would light your mouth on fire. Five jerk chicken skewers were seasoned, yes. Spicy, no. Anyone who thinks is having a surreal moment. Buh dum bump!

JAKE: That was amazingly pathetic, Jason. Herbed yogurt dip complemented bland white rice and garbanzo beans. On another visit two months later, we arrived for dinner at almost 6:30 p.m. Rock music blared from speakers. Dread sank into my empty stomach. The dim, loosely tropical cabana themed lounge, which is where regular tables for dinner are found, is at the back of the main floor space. No candles were lit. Existing lighting was harsh. Truth? I wasn't feeling it and would have bounced over to well-staffed and organized Matador or Paddy Coyne's if we hadn't been on assignment. Serving sit-down dinner is a whole different game than slinging drinks to bump and grind music. Put forth real effort at offering dining and customer service or just open at 8 p.m. and stop pretending.

JASON: Agreed. Surreal doesn't seem serious about dinner - at least in the aspect of atmosphere and ambiance. A ton of good sounding stuff was listed on the new happy hour menu, though. I don't think management had done any staff training yet, so I'm giving our server a pass on not having the 411 on the food. They should rectify that immediately. We munched a 6-inch flatbread pizza with spicy chicken, black olives, diced tomato, and melted cheddar cheese. Sautéed prawns were a bit rubbery but tasted great with cilantro, herbs, tomato, spices, and olive oil. I'm all about bacon, so it goes without saying I was stoked over Humboldt fog bleu cheese and applewood smoked bacon stuffed in baked mushrooms. Yep, they were good.

JAKE: Seven long strips of zucchini coated thinly in a tempura type batter replaced out of season asparagus. Nervously, I'd ordered tuna sashimi. Five very cold, perfectly sliced pieces were dressed in lemon soy butter sauce with nutty black sesame seeds providing textural contrast. I think the tuna was previously frozen.  Like all of the food, it was good just not awesome. Prices are seriously low, so at least we didn't feel ripped off. I just wasn't that impressed.

JASON: With haupia pudding discontinued, creamy coffee crème brûlée and cookies were ordered. It took a very long time to get the thick raisin, oatmeal spice, white chocolate cookies. Yes, they were baked fresh to order, but still. Candlelight and some down tempo music or even smooth jazz playing would have made all of the difference during dinner. If I'd been with my wife we would have taken advantage of the voyeur-free time and played a fast game of slap and tickle, but instead I was stuck with my brother in the awkward semi-dark.