In every issue of this fine rag my hack team of wannabe journalists and I tackle some of the most laughable criminal acts that have recently happened in our area. Then - if we're doing our job - we write about those crimes in a way that makes you chuckle, or at the very least gives you something better to do than stockpile sweatpants for the coming NFL season ... not that sweatpants aren't important.

This week's column takes us to Tacoma, where kids sometimes do dumb things.

Enjoy. - Matt Driscoll

Kids are stupid. Almost all of them. They almost have to be. By definition, kids lack experience. And experience is the best teacher of all. Kids simply haven't had the schooling - the experiences - that adults have had. Because of this (and plenty of other reasons) kids are prone to doing stupid shit.

As stupid as kids may be, sometimes a few of them still manage to get together and do something SO dumb it's hard not to question the future of humanity as a whole. A little stupidity from kids is understandable. But sometimes it crosses the line.

Such was the case Monday in Tacoma's Fern Hill neighborhood.

According to reports on the News Tribune's "Lights & Sirens" blog, early Labor Day morning four teenagers ended up in some trouble ... trouble that's significantly worse than that time your dad caught you and your buddies smoking dope out of an apple behind the garage. Drawing from an account by the Washington State Patrol's Guy Gill, a 16-year-old male driver and three teenage female passengers (awesome, broh) were allegedly speeding when a trooper spotted them and attempted to pull over the 2000 silver Honda they were driving. Rather than pull over, though, the Honda continued on, with a pursuit naturally ensuing.

However, according to Gill's account on "Lights & Sirens," that pursuit was soon terminated by the trooper due to high speeds and the "very erratic" driving of the Honda. There's been no word on whether the 16-year-old driver bears any resemblance to Paul Walker or Vin Diesel.

Trouble is: someone should have told the one-dude/three-chicks teenage Rico Suave behind the wheel his Fast & Furious moment was over. According to Gill, not long after the initial trooper terminated the pursuit, a "separate trooper not involved in that pursuit was patrolling NB (northbound) on SR-7 when the driver of the Honda failed to stop at the stop sign at 82nd St at SR 7 and struck the trooper in the intersection."

Not so awesome, broh.

Complicating matters for our young subject, not only was he allegedly guilty of all the aforementioned dumbness, not to mention several crimes of stupidity we probably can't even fathom at this point, he was also allegedly guilty of the far-more-punishable crime of being found in possession of stolen property. The silver Honda turned out to be heisted out of Tacoma.

Chances are he didn't score with any of those three chicks either.

The driver is now facing felony eluding, possession of stolen property first degree and vehicular assault according to the News Tribune's post.

Perhaps the only good news is no one was seriously injured. - Johnny Tran, Fast and/or Furious Crimes Correspondent