Tuesday, March 22

Feels like a month ago, but just last week I kicked it with GOAT BOY, BADASS BRIA AND HER BEAT BOXING BOY TOY.  We hit WILD ORCHID for their tasty lamb with lychee fruit.  She and I decided it was a holiday and therefore ordered champagne.  The server brought out the bubbly, but the bottle's label was missing. We looked at each other trying to decide how to proceed, and because I am the mouthy one, I bust out with, "ARE YOU OUT OF THE CHAMPAGNE WE ORDERED?" to which the server replied that no, this was the one.  Well, no it was not. She was obviously trying to pull a fast one on us. The foil around the bottle's neck clearly read Gloria Ferrer (which is not a bad choice, just not our choice). Feeling like a broken record, I asked again. It dissolved into a FREAKIN' ABBOTT AND COSTELLO ROUTINE. Finally we gave up and just drank the bare bottle. After many giggles and good stories, we stopped in JAZZBONES FOR SOME KARAOKE and then wound up down at IDA'S PUB for more bubbly. HANDSOME talked us into a quick trip up the hill to the Hob Nob since Ida's Pub doesn't yet have liquor (they will soon, yeah!). We ran into GO MUSIC and sucked down some martinis.  The first round was enough, but noooo Handsome just had to get another.  Thank heavens ANDI GIRL (who replaced our Emily, who's gone to Vegas) is the new bartender, so they were at least tasty. We swung back to Ida's to finish the bottle of sparkly white we'd abandoned and commenced to time travel. Needless to say, my car spent the night on St. Helens. NOTE TO SELF: Roll up windows when leaving car overnight in front of bar.

Friday, March 25

STORM LARGE might be the most all around attractive woman I have ever met and spoken to in person. Ms. Large and her band THE BALLS rocked THE BONEYARD after FEAR TRAIN CARAVAN did a damn fine job of warming the place up.  The balcony was full of young, good-looking people. It was the most hoppin' I have seen that place in awhile. The EDITOR OF THIS FINE RAG even showed his face along with eight TNT staff members. Way to support the local scene ya'll. SMOOTH had been buying INDIE RAWKER BOY (who now insists on going by PRETTY BOY SEAN) pitchers of beer. He was all riled up, professing to love, well, everyone.  Maybe you saw him.  He sports a '70s RON JEREMY 'STACHE-GOAT COMBO and was hugging everybody. TRUMPET PLAYER EXTRAORDINAIRE LANCE BULLER was charming as always.

Saturday, March 26

THE JAVA JIVE and canned PBR. What could be more symbiotic? I met Smooth and HOT LOLLI there for some of the finest canned swill around.  99 MEN kept us entertained until we headed for MAGOO'S. Hot Lolli loved the four-inch black spike heel boots I bought her. She immediately put them on and started showing them off.  I had to caution her though: if she wears them and gets trashed she's bound to end up with a rolled ankle. Trust me.

Sunday, March 27

I WENT TO CHURCH WITH PAPA this afternoon for a lovely family Easter. Couldn't convince THE KID to go. He's too macho for church at age 18, apparently. Couldn't even bribe him with food, so I guess that just works on me.

My recipe for winding down the weekend: Start with KARAOKE AT HELL'S KITCHEN. Add intermittent live reading of The Stranger's Personals by a naughty girl and a smattering of $2 wells. Finish with ROCKO leading a mass sing-along of   MODEST MOUSE'S "Float On" with 80 percent of the people in the joint climbing on stage smiling and laughing with their arms around each other.  Gawd, that's good. Helps ya sleep at night (oh, wait that's the booze). Badass Bria being dubbed "Li'l Money Shot" is just a bonus.

On the heels of much needed time off, there are always many things neglected while on holiday just waiting to sink their "daily grind" fangs back in one.

I recommend a diversion, like the ALL MALE REVUE AT JENNEE'S BAR & GRILL TONIGHT or the MISS HELL'S KITCHEN PAGEANT Friday, April 8.