In every issue of this fine rag my hack team of wannabe journalists and I tackle some of the most laughable criminal acts that have recently happened in our area. Then - if we're doing our job - we write about those crimes in a way that makes you chuckle, or at the very least gives you something better to do than work on your Katherine Heigl DVD collection.

It's not the most important job, but someone has to do it. At the Weekly Volcano Crime Desk, along with putting up the Christmas lights at the office, it's our life's work.

This week's column takes us to Thurston County, where the party sometimes gets out of control.

Enjoy. - Matt Driscoll

While there are surely crappy things about being a cop - like donut jokes, or dorky uniforms, or the fact that a large percentage of minorities don't trust you - I imagine there are truly priceless parts of the job as well. Not only do many cops get to drive sweet, tricked-out cruisers and get to handcuff people, but they also get to encounter bizarre stories like the following. ...

According to reports by the Associated Press, police in Thurston County were called to the 2600 block of Wilderness Drive Southeast in Olympia late on the night of Tuesday, Nov. 30, investigating a reported disturbance.

Lucky for them (and us), what they found was far stranger (and less-clothed) than a simple, run-of-the-mill annoyance.

As KomoNews.com, The Olympian and just about every other news outlet with a hole to fill with criminal ridiculousness (this rag included) has now detailed, the disturbance call indicated that there were several intoxicated men milling around outside, and, according to AP reports, "(o)ne of the men was threatening the others and refusing to leave. During the argument, the man tore his own clothing off, said Lt. Greg Elwin of the Thurston County Sheriff's Office."

Now, surely, we've all been in an altercation and felt compelled to rip off our clothes. It happens to the best of us. But, impressively, this fiasco was just getting started when the clothes hit the ground and the police showed up.

According to reports, the drunken, naked man was not happy at the sight of arriving police officers. The AP story details that when cops arrived, the clothe-less reveler made the fateful (and poor) decision to charge the sheriff's patrol car and start smacking it with his head and fist.

Making his soon-to-be legal trouble even worse, when one of the troopers got out of his car, the AP reports that the naked man turned his aggression on him - charging the officer and sparking a cop vs. naked dude scrum.

Now that's worth some hazard pay. And a donut.

According to news accounts, the scrum continued until authorities had the wherewithal to use a taser on the man. Once the naked drunk was tased multiple times, police were able to overpower and arrest him. One deputy suffered minor injuries during the struggle, but so far there have been no reports of emotional scarring or accidental tea-baggings.

The alleged drunk in question, 28 year-old Sol N. Grover of Olympia, was later booked into Thurston County jail for investigation of third-degree assault and assault on a law enforcement officer. - Barney Crack, Naked Crime Correspondent