In every issue of this fine rag my hack team of wannabe journalists and I tackle some of the most laughable criminal acts that have recently happened in our area. Then - if we're doing our job - we write about those crimes in a way that makes you chuckle, or at the very least helps you find something to do other than eat cookies and cream ice cream straight from the tub while wearing the Contour Ab Belt.

This week's column takes us to the seedy side of high school graduation, or at the very least the opportunistically pitiful side of it.

Enjoy. - Matt Driscoll

According to published reports on the News Tribune's Lights & Sirens blog, 40-year-old Arlee K. Rodrigues was recently charged with first-degree theft and forgery for what police say was a coldblooded plot to bilk the poor high school seniors at Bellarmine Preparatory School out of thousands of dollars. Police contend Rodrigues, a part-time school employee, volunteered to plan the annual Bellarmine senior party, an event students pay to attend and which is typically off campus. This year, as the party planner, Rodrigues collected $160 from 206 students, according to the News Tribune, and then failed to deliver anything close to what students expected.

To put this ruthless crime in perspective, $160 is like half a pair of jeans for these poor kids.

If there's one way to piss a Bellarmine student off it's dupe them out of $160 (note: this holds true for most classifications of people). After attending Rodrigues's senior party, the News Tribune reports - citing charging documents - that most students left feeling extremely cheated by the event (which may or may not have consisted of only a bowl full of Chex Party Mix and Mariah Carey's Mariah Carey set to repeat on a boom box). The kids were so upset, in fact, that a comptroller was brought in to audit how Rodrigues had spent the money.

That's when things got bad for her.

Before long the comptroller started finding all sorts of discrepancies. For instance, Rodrigues claimed Clover Park Technical College was paid $5,600 in rental fees for the venue that held the party. The invoice from the college, however, showed the actual rental price as $3,300.

The comptroller also discovered that Rodrigues hired KalCyd Vending as a consultant to the party - a company owned by her mother. Once the Tacoma police financial crimes unit was brought into the fold, authorities discovered that KalCyd Vending had been listed as a closed by the Department of Revenue, yet was paid $12,278.81 for a photo booth at the party ... which didn't exist. The News Tribune also reports that detectives found $7,745.05 in fraudulent claims of payment.

After being arraigned on charges, Rodrigues was released on her personal recognizance. According to reports, Bellarmine reimbursed students who paid for the party.

For those who enjoy math, 206 multiplied by $160 is almost $33,000. - Sloane Peterson, High School Senior Related Crime Correspondent