In every issue of this fine rag my hack team of wannabe journalists and I tackle some of the most laughable criminal acts that have recently happened in our area. Then - if we're doing our job - we write about those crimes in a way that makes you chuckle, or at the very least helps you think about something other than the groin injury you sustained at your 4-year-old's recent "Pump It Up" birthday party.

This week's Ragnet takes us all the way to Ferndale, a place famous for Jake Locker, Edgemont Jr. High science teacher Kevin Dahl ... and now this lady.

Enjoy. - Matt Driscoll

These days an honest living ain't always easy to come by. Sometimes people settle for simply a living - or maybe just some money. Anything. Sometimes people do whatever it takes to scrape by, even if it means forgoing whatever self-respect or decency they may have possessed.

Then, every once in a while, it gets so goddamn bad that you hear a story about a woman from Ferndale impersonating her dead mother to cash in an oil pension.

According to reports in The Bellingham Herald, 59-year-old Loewen B. Craft was arrested Wednesday, March 2, "while allegedly dressed as her dead mother to advance a pension-fraud scheme that netted her more than $145,000."

Granted, I'd do a lot of things for $145,000 - some downright questionable, negligent and just-plain-gross stuff - but impersonating your dead mother? Like, in costume? C'mon. That's just wrong. Somewhere Charlie Manson is cringing in his cell.

According to Herald reports, authorities - led by Sheriff's Detective John Allgire - arrested Craft at an Industrial Credit Union branch on suspicion of first degree identify theft, criminal impersonation and multiple counts of forgery. In a press release issued by Whatcom County Sheriff Bill Elfo, authorities say Craft was taken into custody after arriving at the credit union to complete paperwork on an account she'd opened in her dead mother's name and using her Social Security number. Descriptions of the incident say Craft's costume included a gray wig, designed to make her passable for the deceased Betty Becker, who died in 2007 according to the Herald. Shortly after Becker's death Craft allegedly began collecting her retirement benefits, which included a whopping $145,339 from a Chevron Oil pension fund.

Apparently, Chevron had previously been suspicious of Craft and had launched its own investigation in 2009 after finding Becker's name in a federal registry of deceased people. However, that investigation was thwarted when Craft allegedly donned her looks-just-like-my-dead-mom wig and makeup and obtained a Washington state identification card in Becker's name.

According to reports, Craft's scheme started to unravel when Allgire began investigating an unrelated arson case. Somewhere along the way Alligre learned Becker had, in fact, passed away at St. Joseph hospital in Bellingham in 2007, and he notified Chevron of his findings. This led Chevron to freeze Craft's accounts, which in turn led Craft to open the Industrial Credit Union account in her mother's name.

Teaming with police and hip to her scam, Industrial Credit Union asked Craft to come in to finalize paperwork on the account. When Craft arrived, police were waiting to take her into custody ... wig and all. - Callie McCalloused, Dead Mom Related Crime Correspondent