ESPN analyst Craig James may not have killed five hookers while playing for SMU in the early '80s, but it appears the much-despised commentator is running for US Senate.
No, seriously.
It was reported Tuesday by Dallas Morning News political reporter Gromer M. Jeffers that James - who starred as a running back at Southern Methodist University in the early '80s, teaming with Eric Dickerson, and later played for the NFL's New England Patriots - will seek the US Senate seat being vacated by Republican Kay Bailey Hutchinson next year. The news isn't exactly shocking, as James, a blatant Republican, launched his "Texans for a Better America" organization in late 2010 - a pretty 
obvious precursor to a foray in politics.
Explained through a website and a series of web videos (narrated by the creepy guy from Forensic Files), Texans for a Better America seems to have several messages to drive home.
First of all: Craig James - the founder of Texans for a Better America - is fucking awesome; he's used hard work and his "God given" talents to become the ultimate story of Texas success.
Secondly: Craig James doesn't like the direction America is heading; Democrats and big government are meddling with the rights of rich white guys to get richer, and - quite simply - Craig James can't take it anymore. It's time for Craig James to do something about it - time for Craig James to rally good Texans like himself for the benefit of the country, restoring the luster of our inherent "American Exceptionalism."
The strange part about all of it is there's no mention - not one - of the five hookers Craig James didn't kill while at SMU.
A little background ...
James, you see, isn't well liked. A brief Internet search leads one to believe he may actually be one of the most reviled characters ever to roam the landscape of college football. Not only does James' actual broadcasting work leave much to be desired, his implied-yet-never-proven involvement with the downfall of the SMU football program - which notoriously received the "death penalty" from the NCAA in the mid '80s after an investigation proved boosters paid players through a slush fund - sticks with him to this day. More recently, James's questionable voting in the college football AP poll (he's got Boise State behind several high school teams) and his role in the firing of Mike Leach from Texas Tech have left what feels like a strong majority of college football fans with a hatred for James that burns bright. Very bright.
The most damning episode in the Craig James saga involves the firing of Mike Leach from Texas Tech. James' son, Adam, played receiver for Leach at Texas Tech, at least before allegedly being locked in an electrical closet by the instruction of the coach after suffering a concussion - a move that comes off more like a sick punishment than a reasonable method of avoiding bright lights after a head injury. Which is exactly how the hired spinsters wanted it to look.
The problem with the story being told that way is Adam James wasn't actually sent to an electrical closet - it was a fairly spacious media room - and the whole bent of the story (including the "leaked" YouTube video of Adam James stuck in the closet) was the work of James and the PR firm he'd hired to discredit Leach, Spaeth Communications (a company you may remember from those "Swift Boat" attack ads against John Kerry in the 2004 presidential election). Emails obtained through public records requests and included in Leach's book, Swing Your Sword, prove this to be true. Presumably, James thought his son should be receiving more playing time and decided to publically take Leach down, using money and his job at ESPN as his tools.
It was Internet spin. And it worked. Leach was fired from Texas Tech and subsequently sued James and Spaeth Communications.
Because of this history - from SMU's misdeeds to the Leach fiasco - a brief Internet search also suggests Craig James just may have killed five hookers while at SMU ... which, of course, he didn't, but that's not really important.
Becoming a cyber mouthpiece for all those tired of James' talentless broadcasting or, more pressing, his proven penchant for using power and money to get what he wants, the college football blog Every Day Should Be Saturday started an Internet meme "Craig James killed 5 hookers."
Go ahead. Type "Craig James ... " into Google and see what comes up. Choice number three is "Craig James Killed 5 hookers." And the fun only starts there. It's truly priceless.
It's Internet spin. And it has worked - forever linking James to five dead hookers that never were.
It's enough to make one wonder: Will this grassroots effort, as we'll call it, ever implore James to answer the hooker allegations - especially now that he's reportedly running for office.
We can only hope.
Perhaps Spaeth Communications can help James craft a message.
BOX SCORES
It was revealed this week that Major League Baseball's reining National League MVP, Ryan Braun, reportedly tested positive for a performance enhancing drug and faces the very real prospect of a 50 game suspension next season because of it. Major League Baseball has not officially announced the positive test because Braun is disputing the result through arbitration. Braun has vehemently defended himself, with the USA Today reporting that the Milwaukee Brewers' star calls the alleged positive test "B.S." Through a spokesman, Braun has urged patience and promised his name will be cleared once all the facts come out. Which, of course, is what they always say. ... Scottie Pippen is back in the news for his finances, only this time it's intentional, as the former NBA is apparently tired of his good financial name being dragged through the mud. Pippen is suing a host of major media outlets - including CBS Corp and Comcast - for reporting that Pippen was bankrupt. In the lawsuit Pippen claims he's never been worth less than $40 million in the last 10 years, and furthermore - unlike Michael Jordon - he's never done a Hanes commercial sporting Hitler-like facial hair. Here at Cup Check we'd just like to take a moment to remind Pippen that we've never once insinuated he was broke (we hope). ... Finally, as the NBA prepares to open its lockout-delayed season on Christmas, David Stern continued to sully the reputation of the league this week by seriously getting in the middle of several potential trades involving New Orleans Hornets star Chris Paul. You see, the NBA actually OWNS the Hornets, after purchasing the bankrupt franchise in late 2010. Good to see the NBA worked out all its problems with that lockout. ...
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