I'm ditching the format this week, folks. Going rogue. You betcha.

Why? Because fantasy football drafts will be taking place all across our NFL-obsessed nation over the next week. That special time of year is upon us. It's worth a special edition of Cup Check. It doesn't matter that we haven't had the luxury of a normal, non-lockout offseason. Fantasy football waits for no one. No one. Your draft is coming and you need to get your shit together. Stat.

Fantasy football - starting with the draft - can make or break your fall. You don't want to fuck this up. Trust me.

Can I help you win at fantasy football? No.

But while I can't help you win, I can help you have more fun. Or at least I've written a column pretending I can.

Here's a six-pack of tips for fantasy football good times:

1. Pick a good team name. Honestly, serious team names are for chumps. Or boring dudes. Or the just plain uncreative who don't deserve the joy of participating in an activity as obviously ridiculous as fantasy football. Naming your team is a chance to inject a small dose of constant humor into something that may well ruin several Sundays of your life in the not-too-distant future. It's easier to stomach horrible defeat when it's "Okung Kidding Me?**" or "Tebow 3:16" taking the loss.

2. Be upfront with your significant other about the money you're going to lose. While it may seem unadvisable to voluntarily own up to the startlingly pathetic amount of money you're likely to lose on fantasy football this year, this is about minimizing damages. A conversation at the beginning of the season - before you've actually lost a shit-ton of money - is much easier to navigate than one after the season. Have the conversation early. Be realistic and honest; getting busted for blowing twice as much as you originally suggested is the last thing you want to happen. If things get dicey when you're having "the talk," try dividing the total by 16 weeks to minimize the impact. And don't rule out promising things for after the season that you have no intention of following through on - romantic getaways, home improvements, etc.

3. Don't be one of those people more concerned with their fantasy team than the actual games. You know who you are. Fantasy football is great because the NFL is great - not the other way around. You didn't fall in love with fantasy football as a child - you fell in love with actual football. Sure, get updates at halftime, between morning and afternoon games, before the Sunday night game - but don't lose your perspective on what's important ... at least until your favorite team (read: Seahawks) is 1-4 heading out of its bye week and all hope is lost. Then you can be that guy.

4. Avoid the temptation to draft a bunch of players from your favorite team. Look, I get the fact you LOVE the Raiders. Or whichever team it is you follow. But that doesn't mean drafting players from your favorite team is a good idea. Chances are your judgment is skewed. Sure, you've watched all of your team's preseason games and you're filled with irrational optimism over the coming season - but just don't. There's nothing worse than having your fantasy team suck because your favorite team sucks. It's the ultimate double-whammy. It's not worth it. Control yourself.

5. Drink AFTER the draft, not before it. The temptation is obvious. You and your friends - likely buddies you've known for a long time, dudes who you've shared many a cold one with - all congregate for the draft. It seems only natural to get shit-housed, right? That's what you and your buddies do, right? Wrong. This is how teams that take defenses in the fifth round are made. This is how long, miserable seasons are made. Let your friends get hammered while you coyly drink in moderation. The clarity maintained should pay happiness dividends for the entire season.

6. Don't take it personally. Perhaps the most important thing to realize about fantasy football is THERE ACTUALLY ARE NO EXPERTS. Yes, you can spend hours analyzing the stats, sifting through rosters and ranking players by position, but at the end of the day luck and pure chance - more than anything - will determine who has success and who doesn't. Anyone who pretends to have fantasy football skill is full of shit. Bottom line: don't beat yourself up too badly if you lose. And don't think you're too smart if you win. In all likelihood, neither is true. It's only fantasy football.

DUMB JOCK OF THE WEEK

The Dumb Jock of the Week Award has taken a fairly liberal definition of the term "jock." At this point, anyone at least remotely connected with pro sports seems eligible.

This is exactly why I won't apologize for naming Jerry Baxter, the crew chief for Patrick Carpentier of Pastrana Waltrip Racing, this week's winner.

For those who don't pay attention to the TV channel with the hillbillies driving in a circle at high rates of speed, Baxter let his crew-chief emotions get the best of him last Saturday following the Nationwide Series race in Montreal. After Steven Wallace (the son of Rusty Wallace) made contact with Carpentier on lap 56, causing him to wreck, Baxter took matters into his own hands on pit row following the race. As Wallace cruised in and took off his helmet after the checkered flag, Baxter can be seen in video of the dust-up angrily reaching in his car through the driver's side window and grabbing a fistful of Wallace's blonde hair - yanking the hell out of it. Baxter's temper was particularly stoked because it was Carpentier's final race before retirement.

"Only girls pull hair," Wallace said later in a television interview.

**Thanks to SweetKiss Momma bassist Dave Ashworth for submitting the team name "Okung Kidding Me?"