STRIKE ONE

Oh, for eff's sake. Must I really devote another column to the booster-funded clusterfuck taking shape at THEE Ohio State University?

It seems so. It seems, on the heels of Jim Tressel's disgraceful exit last week, Ohio State quarterback Terrelle Pryor decided to become former Ohio State quarterback Terrelle Pryor this week, announcing his decision to leave school and pursue football on a professional basis. Pryor, of course, was in the middle of the Ohio State firestorm thanks to an alleged string of improperly provided cars he drove during his time at the school, as well as the well-known autographs-and-memorabilia-for-cash-and-tattoos scandal that had already gotten him suspended from the first five games of next season. Pryor now reportedly hopes to enter the NFL's supplemental draft, or perhaps spend time honing his skills in the UFL.

Basically, if what we've heard is true, Pryor has been profiting off football for a long time. This week he just announced his decision to make it official.

There's nothing new to add here, though the wreckage is so gnarled that I'd be remiss to leave it out. It's still a goddamn mess at OSU, we'll still probably never know the full scope of the improprieties, and kids in big time football programs at major universities across the country are still driving improperly provided Escalades.

That said, the scandal has allowed former OSU fuck-ups like Maurice Clarett to come forward and gain an extra half second in the spotlight before returning to a life of sad, unrealized potential and quiet regret. For them (and it's really just Clarett we're talking about here), the opportunity may prove cathartic.

Clarett told ESPN's The Dan Patrick Show Wednesday that players at OSU are to blame for the current scandal, not coaches or fans. The interview was later used as part of an Associated Press story.

As you'll recall, after one season with the Buckeyes in 2002, in which the running back amassed 1,237 yards and helped Ohio State take down Miami in the BCS championship game, Clarett was suspended for taking improper benefits (like cars) and never returned to the team. From there, his life became a string of punch lines and prison sentences.

"There wasn't any coach or any booster or any member in or around Ohio State who helps you get a car," Clarett said on The Dan Patrick Show according to the AP. "People didn't reach out to me, I reached out to people."

STRIKE TWO

Far be it for me to trivialize something as powerful and mysterious as karma, but GOD I really hope LeBron James is getting what he deserves in this year's NBA Finals.

Everyone knows about his TV debacle - The Decision. I don't really need to explain why he deserves our wrath for that one.

And, if you're paying attention, you know James basically vanished in Tuesday night's Game 4, in which Dallas tied the series at two games apiece. James tallied a miserable eight points, and was quickly and loudly lambasted by every NBA analyst and pundit known to man.

Wednesday, Mavericks guard DeShawn Stevenson got into the act, according to AP reports, telling reporters after a team shoot around that James "checked out" of Game 4.

Zing!

Basically, Stevenson said what everyone around the periphery of the NBA had been already said, it just made headlines because he's a Dallas Maverick. Reporters seem to put a lot of stock in the notion of "bulletin board material," if only because it makes them feel more important.

Still, let's hope James stays "checked out" long enough for owner Mark Cuban to win an NBA title with the Mavericks. The Cup Check column fodder would be endless.

STRIKE THREE

For those who avoid all things hockey: The Stanley Cup finals are currently in full swing, pitting the locally adopted Vancouver Canucks against the Boston Bruins. If that last sentence describes you, think intimidating men with beards and missing teeth on ice skates taking things very seriously.

After jumping out to a 2-0 series lead, the Canucks flopped like few have flopped before in Game 3, with much-maligned Vancouver goalie Roberto Luongo taking the brunt of criticism for the 8-1 loss (eight freakin' goals!).

In truth, the whole team crapped the bed, but this Luongo fella just can't seem to get a break.

Generally respected outside of Vancouver as one of the best in the game, and certainly paid like it by the Canucks, Luongo has been a polarizing figure for B.C. hockey fans. Usually, Luongo plays well. Sometimes he doesn't. And sometimes, when the stakes are particularly high, he seems to play REALLY bad.

The goalie was benched for a game in the first round of this year's playoffs after two particularly lousy outings against Chicago, but came back to have a solid, series-clinching Game 7 performance.

How will he respond to giving up eight goals in Game 3?

It's tough to say - but whatever happens, he better not cry. After being eliminated from the NHL playoffs in 2008, Luongo made the mistake of crying on camera during interviews - only adding fuel to some fans' fiery hatred for him.

Someone even created the Facebook page Roberto Luongo Crying.

"Like!"

DUMB JOCK OF THE WEEK

It feels like NASCAR's Kyle Busch has been a part of Cup Check on an almost weekly basis for months, since becoming embattled in an ongoing feud with fellow driver Kevin Harvick - a driver employed by team owner Richard Childress.

Well, this week it was 65-year-old Childress, a grandfather and NASCAR icon, who found headlines. According to reports by the Associated Press, Childress allegedly put Busch in a headlock and punched him several times after a recent trucks race at Kansas Speedway in which Busch bumped Childress Racing driver Joey Coulter during the cool-down lap after the race.

The incident, for which Childress was placed on probation by NASCAR, makes him the oldest ever recipient of the Dumb Jock of the Week award.

Well done, sir.