STRIKE ONE

For a while, it looked like the dumbest thing that might happen in the world of athletics this week would be Scottie Pippen's unfortunate proclamation that, while Michael Jordan might be the best scorer in the history of the NBA, LeBron James might be the best all-time player. The comments, which came May 27 on ESPN's Mike & Mike show, were especially juicy, of course, considering the fact Pippen rode Jordan's coattails to like, a gazillion NBA titles in the '90s (technically he was a seven-time All Star, but whatever ... Tony Kukoc was cooler).

You'd think a guy would be grateful. You'd think a former teammate would show Jordan a little respect.

You'd think a former NBA player might be familiar with names like Wilt Chamberlin and Bill Russell.

Then again, Pippen isn't exactly known for his good sense. Mark Riddix of Investopedia, in a story reposted on Yahoo Sports, has reported Pippen "lost $120 million in career earnings due to poor financial planning and bad business ideas," and in his prime "blew $27 million on bad investments and spent $4.3 million on a Gulfstream II corporate jet."

History shows us that looking for good sense from Scottie Pippen is too much to ask.

In fact, we should probably just stop asking him questions all together.

STRIKE TWO

Yes, for a moment it looked as though Scottie Pippen, and perhaps the Twitter trending topic #scottiepippentweets if I got particularly desperate, would make up the meat of this week's column.

Then, of course, Jimmy Sweatervest had to go and get forced from his throne. Suddenly, the sports world was abuzz with the kind of drama the 24-hour news cycle is made for.

In case you've been living under a rock (or perhaps struggling to make ends meet living in one of Terrelle Pryor's eight cars), beleaguered Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel was forced to resign this week amid deepening allegations that his program was kind of like The Program, except for way more tattoos, free cars, lack of institutional control and no Omar Epps. Sports Illustrated published an epic piece by George Dohrmann and David Epstein on its website this week (scheduled for the June 6 print edition) detailing "the full extent to which Jim Tressel lost control of the Buckeyes," according to its own subhead. 

Needless to say, the story is a must read ... if for no other reason than it's practically all that's been discussed in the sports world since it first posted to SI.com. (What NBA Finals?)

Spoiler alert: The story paints a pretty bad picture. It makes Tressel's schoolboy sideline attire go from poor fashion taste to just sadly ironic. Usually, it takes a man of integrity to wear a sweater with no sleeves.

Based on reports, such was not the case with Jim Tressel.

That's probably (read: obviously) why he stepped down Monday after OSU was notified late the week before of the story's impending publication.

I've got no joke here. Let this situation simply remind everyone that this is exactly the reason the world needs real journalists, even in sports, and not just hacks like me regurgitating the sound bites and throwing in debatably witty commentary.

I mean, I'm great and all ... but George Dohrmann, David Epstein and Sports Illustrated as a whole deserve a serious fist-bump for their work.

And maybe one of Terrelle Pryor's cars.

STRIKE THREE

Closer to home, the Seattle Mariners are making headlines lately, and not just for the unexpected surge that has area sports fans collectively suspending disbelief about a team expected to wallow in ineptitude all year long that's now hovering slightly above .500 (like Wedge's mustache hovers above his mouth, or a smell of failure hovers above the Chone Figgins signing).

No, Mariner fans, and specifically four fans last Saturday night, May 28, have been getting national press for an outburst the likes of which have rarely been seen in Major League baseball ... at least in these numbers

Occasionally, we've all surely witnessed a drunken or misguided reveler take to the field only to be tackled shortly thereafter by security guards. The phenomenon isn't new. Where there's a beer, there's a way.

And, of course, less frequently we've seen these misguided revelers shed clothing and become streakers. Again, the phenomenon isn't new. It's just colder and probably an indication of deeper psychological issues.

But four fans in one night, each individually storming the field only to be tackled by a suddenly overworked Mariners security team?

Four rowdy bastards at Safeco Field? In one night?

With one having downed enough $11 beer to go naked?

It's unheard of.

As Larry Stone of the Seattle PI put it:

"I'm not sure what the heck was going on, but it got to be downright embarrassing with each successive intruder, particularly the buck-naked (except for a hat) streaker. The security force executed some amazingly forceful open-field tackles that would have made the Seahawks proud."

DUMB JOCK OF THE WEEK

If there's one person happy about the Jim Tressel development this week it's  Lance Armstrong ... if only because it takes some of the spotlight off the recent CBS 60 Minutes piece that featured scores of allegations and damning interviews with former teammates regarding Armstrong's reported blood-doping.

This week, Armstrong and his lawyers demanded an apology from CBS, claiming the news outlet was guilty of sloppy journalism and had aired a story built on falsehoods.

CBS has stood by the story.

Adding to the intrigue, Armstrong also has created the website facts4lance.com (because everything published on the Internet must be true), and also beefed up his legal team.

No word yet on whether a colored bracelet will be sold to support Armstrong's latest fight.