STRIKE ONE

It's the Major League Baseball off-season, meaning the "hot stoves" are heating up, and the Yankees are frantically throwing money at big-name free agents. While talk of where ace-pitcher Cliff Lee will end up next year has dominated most discussions, other - less crucial - tinkering is taking place on lineups throughout the league. For instance, earlier this week it was announced that the Toronto Blue Jays had acquired minor league second basemen Brett Lawrie from the Brewers for starting pitcher Shawn Marcum. While Lawrie's baseball resume is relatively short he did become the highest-drafted Canadian position player of all time in 2008 when the Brewers selected him 16th overall. Lawrie batted .285 last season with the Double-A Huntsville Stars.

However, more important than Lawrie's on-field prowess is his social networking prowess. On the same day he was traded to Toronto, deadspin.com reported that the Milwaukee-based blog millerparkdrunk.com had posted what're described as a "handful of embarrassing pictures" from Lawrie's Facebook page. Shots included: a self-portrait of Lawrie's abs, a self-portrait of Lawrie's musculor shoulder, tattooed with Eminem lyrics, and a picture of Lawrie with a forty duct taped to his hand.

Total douchebag, eh?

STRIKE TWO

Jets coach Rex Ryan, straight off his overrated team's 45-3 annihilation at the hands of the Patriots Monday night, took an interesting tact when his players returned for practice Wednesday.

Looking to put the humiliating loss behind them, Ryan LITERALLY took his team outside and buried a ball used in the game next to a Jets' practice field ... you know, signifying the game is behind them, or something. ...

Here's a list of other things Ryan should have buried:

• Carbohydrates
• Braylon Edwards
• His inspirational manuscript, Chicken Soup for Your Motherfucking Soul
• Mark Sanchez's decision making
• An invitation to join Tony Dungy at church
• His brother's hair

STRIKE THREE

Redskins coach Mike Shanahan has made previous Cup Check appearances - most notably for basically calling Donovan McNabb fat and stupid earlier this year after benching the all-pro in favor of Rex Grossman. But, more than anything, Shanahan's on-going, childish feud with prima donna Albert Haynesworth has dominated headlines this year  and continues to, even with only four weeks of the regular season left.

Shanahan suspended Haynesworth this week for "conduct detrimental to the team," after Fat Albert arrived late to a team meeting and allegedly dogged it in practice all week - age-old moves for a player who's earned a reputation as one of the games bigger brats. Most incriminating, pictures surfaced of Haynesworth drinking and rabblerousing on the Thursday night prior to his late arrival at the Redskins facility Friday - a day on which he would claim to be too sick to practice.

For those who've forgotten, Haynesworth signed a blockbuster $100 million contract just last season with the Redskins, which (do the math) can buy A LOT of drinks.

DUMB JOCK OF THE WEEK

Let's give it up for former NFL wide receiver Peerless Price, who's apparently as good at going underground as he was at being unproductive in the National Football League. In a marvel of modern technology, a lawyer recently contacted deadspin.com in hopes of locating the one-time Bill, Seahawk and Cowboy - calling on the website's "I Team" (used to track douchebags through the magic of the Internet) to help him find Price.

From deadspin.com:

"If any of you have heard about where Peerless Price may currently be, then please let me know. I am trying to foreclose on his house, and cannot find him in order to serve him."

LOCAL BLACKOUT

The Huskies win the Apple Cup! The Huskies win the Apple Cup! The bowl draught is over! It's off to San Diego and the Holiday Bowl! Jake Locker will have his day in the sun!

Oh, wait, what? We're playing Nebraska again? Crap. ...