You did it! You have found the new home of the Weekly Volcano. All your favorite Weekly Volcano stories - past and future - can be found here on northwestmilitary.com. You have mouthwateringly easy web access to past issues of the Weekly Volcano. Searchable by keyword! Like "conenose"!

As always, it's free to play. We don't have a mean pay wall to block you from the pleasures of life. It's easy, too. As you can see above, all your favorite entertainment sections are represented - including the glowing "Bars and Clubs" section. If it's not glowing, then this website's code knows you need to stop drinking for a while. We care!

If you're old school, you can find the print version of the Weekly Volcano - from Tumwater to Milton, from Sumner to Gig Harbor - in the same glorious locations. The circulation hasn't changed.

If this is not what you expected, please alter your expectations. No such thing as small change. Oh, literate dogs click here: http://www.thebark.com.

If you feel the new home of the Weekly Volcano is not for you, all you have to do is grab one of those little dot-com tchotchke squeeze-toys things in each hand and begin working the wrist muscles like there's no tomorrow and regulate the breath slow and steady and keep the gaze firm all in preparation for the coming time when you will be called upon to slap yourself out of your inner conundrums and shake yourself from your general malaise and wear nipple clamps to work and smile warmly at people who don't really deserve it and squeeze lots of very juicy cherries because you never know when you'll need to whip up a good Manhattan cocktail to soothe what ails you.