You didn't think Bret Michaels was going to let a little brain hemorrhage stop him from touring, did you? Hell no, bro! Those brain hemorrhages happened way back in April, dude! There's no way the Bret Michaels America has come to know and love would miss all the hot MILF action in the Krusty Pup line at the Puyallup Fair. Every rose may have its thorn, but Bret Freakin' Michaels doesn't mess around when it comes to spreading his rockstar seed. Those dreamy eyes are serious, and the man's loins will never be tamed, not by diabetes, by hemorrhage or by any sign of embarrassment stemming from a wholly forgettable career.

PREDICTION: This event will function much like a reunion for Puyallup High School's classes of '87-'89. Danny Thurston and Billy Joe Hobert will totally get laid somehow.

[Puyallup Fair Grandstand, 9 p.m., $30, Ninth and Meridian, Puyallup, thefair.com]