OK. I'll cut straight to the goddamn chase on this one. I recently got an email alerting me to a regular event in the area I had no idea existed. It said, and I quote, "DJ Billi Fualauu and Mary Kay Letourneau top 40" - EVERY Saturday night at Bull Market Bar and Grill/Paradise Bowl.

"Wow," I said to myself. "Wow ..."

This is what it's come to.

So I went to old friend Internet. After some futile searching, I found what I was looking for. 

Vili Fualaau is DJ Headline. DJ Headline is Vili Fualaau - who is that kid who boffed Mary Kay Letourneau and ended up marrying her. Together, they most definitely are the "DJ Billy Faulaau and Mary Kay Letourneau," from my email.

Most importantly, DRUM ROLL PLEASE ...

They've got a WEEKLY GIG gig at the Bull Market Bar and Grill/Paradise Bowl - in Parkland every Saturday night.

I don't even really have a joke for all of this. Sometimes reality is good enough.

DJ Headline and Mary Kay Letourneau

Saturdays, 9 p.m.
12505 Pacific Ave. S., Tacoma
253.537.6012