It seems things are finally swinging my direction. The timing couldn’t be better.

For the longest time, since well before I became the editor of this fine rag, I’ve been the foodie laughing stock at Weekly Volcano World Headquarters. That bitch Suzy Stump doesn’t even wait until I’ve left the room. She just stands there, pointing and cracking up, as I contently microwave my Red Baron French Bread Pizza for the 47th day in a row.  Fucking Suzy Stump.

Then there’s Publisher Pappi Swarner, original editor of the Volcano, the man who created this beast.  He’s still around, of course — he just focuses on the Internet side of the operation these days. For those of you that aren’t very tech-savvy, that just means he wears flip-flops on a fairly regular basis and Twitters a lot – but his influence is still felt strongly. While Pappi Swarner has a taste for all the finer things in life, is well versed in the art of dining, often brings leftovers to work in his refrigerated lunchbox that are more exotic than anything I’ve eaten in the last four and a half years, and is the kind of guy that orders croissants when it’s his turn to rule donut day, I roll at the other end of the spectrum.
 
I know all 12 flavors of Pillsbury Toaster Strudels. And if the world suddenly got turned on its ear and we were all forced to eat bacon cheeseburgers and waffle fries for the rest of eternity, well, I could totally deal with that.
I dine cheap.

And this, friends, is my very first restaurant guide as editor of the Weekly Volcano. It should come as no surprise that the focus, then, is on dining cheap. I know nothing else. If the prison in Shawshank Redemption were a Shari’s, I’d be the Morgan Freeman character.

But the real beauty lies in the circumstances of this situation. The stars have all aligned. My ascent to editor of the Weekly Volcano just so happened to correspond with the economic crapfest. Just as I took the reigns, things I’ve built myself on — like Canadian Bacon sandwiches from Spud’s and feeding myself on pocket change — suddenly became a lot cooler.

One of these days that tease Suzy Stump is going to wobble into my office and ask me what to order at the Flying Boots Café. I fucking know it.  How ironic it will be. We will have come full circle.

Dining for less is what it’s all about — and the Weekly Volcano’s 2009 Dining on the Cheap Restaurant Guide will help you do it. From Suzy Stump’s trip out in her grandpa’s Buick to invade our area’s fine dining establishments to Rev. Adam McKinney’s “Sandwich Smackdown” — the Weekly Volcano has cheapskates like me AND frugal foodies like the rest of you covered.

My time has finally come. I’m going to eat it up.

Pass the A1.

Featured stories

Sandwich Smackdown!: MSM Deli’s BBC and Vuelve A La Vida’s Steak Torta step into the octagon and duel to the death. By Rev. Adam McKinney

Senior moments: Turn on your left blinker on and hit fancy food on the cheap. By Suzy Stump

Eat like a college student

Let’s be honest. Nothing says cheap eating like pizza, Chinese food, or — specifically to the South Sound — a burger at Frisko Freeze. Since this is a “guide,” here are a few of The Weekly Volcano’s favorite places in no particular order. You can find much more at weeklyvolcano.com.

PIZZA

ABELLA PIZZERIA
Serving pizza pies, calzones, pasta, bagels and breakfast, this joint is a favorite of students at the art high school and University of Washington Tacoma. 1946 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.779.0769.

OLD SCHOOL PIZZERIA
Old School Pizzeria is where you’d take Grandma — if she were a punk rocker.  Old School is Olympia in a nutshell: loud music, eclectic décor, bitchy staff — but in a good way.  The pizza is New York thin and delivers the crust just right so you can fold the thing in half and slide it into your mouth. 108 Franklin St., Olympia, 360.786.9640.

PIZZA CASA
Pizza Casa is a Lakewood icon that transcends all peoples. The menu is full of favorites such as ravioli, chicken, and manicotti.  Still, most people order the pizza, and for good reason. 12924 Pacific Highway S.W., Lakewood, 253.588.8135.

PUGET SOUND PIZZA
This joint is like everyone’s memory of their favorite college pizza hangout.  Puget Sound Pizza has that college, no-frills feel with plenty of art event posters on the walls, large tables, big windows, not to mention cool retro barstools and those ’70s red, orange and yellow chain lamps we sat under while watching the Partridge Family on prime time. It’s the place to find a quick and large breakfast at a reasonable price 7-10:30 a.m. seven days a week, plus pizza that rocks your world (amazing red sauce).  317 S. Seventh, Tacoma, 253.383.4777.

UPPER CRUST
Three pizza sizes, four hand-tossed crust flavors and three sauce choices support a variety of topping options, including wild mushroom medley, roasted walnut, eggplant, goat cheese, chicken breast, chorizo sausage, and many others. Upper Crust also serves four specialty pizza options that arrive as works of art. 2714 N. 21st St., Tacoma, 253.752.0900.

VICS PIZZERIA
Aggressively hip joint favored by college students and those who like loud music — and that’s a good thing. Vics serves delicious hand-tossed, New York style, thin crust and slightly greasy pizza — whole or by the slice. Toppings include pine nuts, tofu, capers, cashews among traditional items. White and whole wheat crust options (chose whole wheat). Vics is also vegan friendly with yellow and white sauces made with yeast, tahini, soly milk, soy butter and a vegan calzone option. 233 Division St. N.W., Olympia, 360.943.8044.

CLOVERLEAF PIZZA
A Tacoma classic, and for good reason. Delivery always takes an hour, but well worth the greasy, cheesey wait. 6430 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.565.1111.

CHINESE FOOD

HAPPY AT THE BAY TERIYAKI
While teriyaki is the mainstay, this restaurant devotes a fair portion of its menu to Chinese selections — more so than other teriyaki restaurants.  The Mongolian beef was surprisingly fresh, sweet and scrumptious.  Portion size was huge and the service friendly. 4040 S. Orchard, Fircrest, 253.564.4707.

EMPEROR’S PALACE
Emperor’s Palace is everything you’d want a stereotypical Chinese restaurant to be. The Kung Pao chicken is tasty. 7321 Martin Way S.E., Lacey, 360.923. 2323. 

JADE PALACE
Skip the family meals and head straight for the authentic Mandarin/Szechwan dishes such as roast duck Cantonese and orange peel beef, order a powerful potion from the bar, and then work off the fine Chinese food in front of the karaoke machine.  3810 Bridgeport Way W., University Place, 253.564.7170.

SHANGHAI HOUSE
Downtown Tacoma’s new Chinese restaurant specializing in large portions. Rich spices fill the air. The house specialty — steamed dumplings — are super soft, steamy goodness arriving in a metal bowl on shredded white cabbage. These hot little balls are filled with seasoned ground pork and minced veggies and then dunked in soy/vinegar sauce. We also recommend the The Sizzling Triple Delight — a sizzling dish of chicken, beef and prawns joined by mushrooms, red bell pepper, snow peas, and broccoli. 1126 Commerce St., Tacoma, 253.627.1859.

TACOMA SZECHAUN
Folks, this is as real as it gets around here. Chinese (Sichuan) with a huge menu, well over a hundred options, and the portions are big and the flavors fresh. Their idea of a starter soup is more trough-like than cup. Crispy pork & tofu with hot tomato sauce, hot pepper fried shredded potato, eggplant in hot garlic sauce — they excel in hot and spicy. 9601 South Tacoma Way, No. 102, Lakewood, 253.581.0102.

TACOMA FAVORITES

FRISKO FREEZE
A Tacoma icon with juicy burgers, fries, great onion rings, and shakes without a high priced bill and silly “welcome to such and such” sayings. 1201 Division, Tacoma, 253.272.6843.

BOB’S BAR-B-Q
Bob’s bills its fare as Texas style, and it indeed reminds us of the barbecue joints in the South.  911 S. 11th St. Hilltop Tacoma, 253.627.4899.

ALFRED’S CAFÉ & BUBBLE ROOM
Alfred’s Café & Bubble Room’s menu is extensive.  In fact, sometimes it’s near impossible to decide what to chow on with more than 10 appetizers, five salads, 12 types of hand-thrown pizza, six entrees and 10 sandwiches. 402 Puyallup Ave. E., Tacoma, by the Tacoma Dome, 253.627.5491.

INFINITE SOUPS
Infinite Soups serves 20 to 30 different kinds of soups daily off a rotating list of around 60 soups, by the quart, bowl or cup, all under $7. Owner Wendy Clapp offers soup and bread for take-out only, although Malarkey’s will let you bring her soup inside their pool joint next door. 445 Tacoma Ave. S., Tacoma, 253.274. 0232.

THE SPAR
A great local bar with a good reputation for exemplary beer, friendly patrons, and great food including fish ‘n’ chips. Early Sunday night blues is a Tacoma tradition. 2121 North 30th, Old Town Tacoma, 253.627.8215.