I’ve chatted with Craig Adamowski of 99 Bottles a few times, giving him fair warning he’d fall victim to this Trouble with DeRosa column sooner than he’d like. In an attempt to annoy him, I thought I’d try and bug him on a weekend during the busy holiday season. My efforts failed as he greeted me with nothing but time on his hands. Drats. I had caught him during one of the very few times he and his wife’s thriving Federal Way beer store was empty. This slow time was a rare occurrence, so I stayed to bug him with questions. I was in a beer store that was destined to be overtaken by men spending money — why would I want to leave?



STEPH DEROSA: Your clientele is predominately men, correct? I can smell the sweet stench of freshly mown lawn and testosterone in the air. Do you have any spray to get rid of that?


CRAIG ADAMOWSKI: Yes, we get a lot of men in here — and no — we don’t have a spray. As a matter of fact, we cater to the men here. Inside the restroom is a sign asking people to please leave the toilet seat up.



DEROSA: Yeah, I know, I almost fell in. Thanks for that.



ADAMOWSKI: Well, not all men take the time to lift the seat when they pee. I’d rather have the seat up than have to clean pee off the seat all the time.



DEROSA: Yeah, I know, my ass is still drying. Thanks for that as well. I know you guys get pretty busy in this wonderful Mecca of worldwide beers, any chance you’d give me a job?


ADAMOWSKI: I highly doubt that. If we did I’m afraid we’d eventually have to fire you for offending all the male customers. Remember, Steph, I know you AND I read your column. What? Did the Weekly Volcano finally wise up and terminate you?



DEROSA: No they didn’t, smartass. I think this would be the perfect place to work. The only thing I’d change is maybe having a girl couch up front. You know, like the man couch outside the dressing rooms in Nordstrom.



ADAMOWSKI: I’ve thought about having girl chairs, but that just might promote loitering. Remember the time I had to kick you out for being here too long?



DEROSA: No. When was that?



ADAMOWSKI: Pretend I’m asking you that tomorrow.



[99 Bottles, 35002 Pacific Hwy. S., Federal Way, 253.838.2558