Spiritualists tell us that the emotions and words we attach to food determine in many ways the effects they reap on our bodies. It’s not “you are what you eat,” but rather, “you are the names you call your food.”

Case in point. On your drive home tonight you hit a squirrel. Feeling depressed, you purchase a Big Mac meal and super-size it. As you peel back the cardboard box, you think, “I shouldn’t be doing this. This food is bad for me. Maybe I should just go get drunk instead. No, that’s bad for me too. Stupid squirrel!”

When the Big Mac finally plummets to your queasy stomach, it takes a thick wrapping of guilt, depression and angst with it. Not exactly a balanced meal.

Would you call your 300-pound neighbor Joel a jellyroll to his face? Of course not — no matter how much he may disgust you. So don’t call your jellyroll names either. The doughnut already contains fat, sugars and preservatives — you’re crazy to sprinkle the top with negative energy as well. If you make the conscious decision to eat something at the tippy-top of the food pyramid, then let the guilt go. Enjoy the treat for health sake. Heck, the positive vibe may even counterbalance some of that sticky black plaque you’re currently constructing inside your arterial walls.

In an article on emindful.com, Megrette Fletcher, executive director of the Center for Mindful Eating, a Web-based forum for healthcare professionals says, “I joke with my clients that if I could put a microphone in their heads and broadcast what they’re saying to themselves when they eat, the FCC would have to bleep it out.” 

 

Approaching food nonjudgmentally is rooted in Buddhism and stops food from becoming an emotional poison.

Sound all hooey-hooey to you? Are you always a negative person?

My little friends

Let’s call the guilty pleasures in our lives our little friends instead. Friends that love us — want us to be happy — revel in our choices. How many little friends you choose to have depends on your lifestyle and the width of your front door, but no matter how many friends you maintain, treat them well.

 

My new best friend lives at Best Burgers in Lakewood (7714 Custer Road). His name is Spudster and he makes me smile. 

 

Spudster tastes like deep fried mashed potatoes. For $2.29, 20 or so Spudsters arrive inside a white paper bag oozing with grease (think positive). I first ordered these little dudes on a whim with a fish sandwich. After one bite I forgot the fish and went to town popping the gems into my mouth. Literally, dollops of mashed potatoes have been sealed inside a coating and fried golden brown. Crunchy, hearty and full of potato flavor — Spudsters taste better than any fries I know.

Oldest pal

If one restaurant sees more of me than any other place it’s Hot Teriyaki in Lakewood (8013 Steilacoom Blvd.) where my longtime friend Mongolian Beef calls home. Old pals have faults but we love them anyway — same with Mongolian beef. Nothing about this place suggests the highest quality of ingredients make it to the plate, however, the right balance of texture and taste negate a care in the world. The beef strips arrive crunchy at the edges, the sauce sweet and light — “comfort” best describes the entire dish. The sliced carrots and onions mixed with rice strings complete the package. When I need an old friend, I know exactly where to find him.

Bad boy

We all love that one friend who sometimes challenges us to be a little bad — for bad sake. The daredevil, the edgy one, the punk — keeping one friend like this on your speed dial isn’t always a negative thing. My badass pal goes by the name of Bananas Foster at El Gaucho in downtown Tacoma (2119 Pacific Ave.). He may look sweet, but inside, the Foster wields a mighty sugar rush. He’s all big lights big city — clocking in at 140 ahhs to the spoonful. I also have only nice things to say about Foster (otherwise he will kick my ass).

Long distant relationship

Sometimes friends we connect with live in inaccessible places most of the year. We wait and we wait for months until that boys’ night out or girls gone wild weekend when a reunion date comes together. My pal Krusty Pup surfaces once a year, for three weeks, at the Western Washington Fairgrounds, otherwise known as the Puyallup Fair (Ninth and Meridian). Krusty is the best corn dog in the world. Large, thick, juicy — he knows how to show a person a good time. Thankfully, I get to see him Sept. 5 — I hope he still remembers me.

These are my friends. When you visit yours, give them a break. Love them for who they are.