On a frequent basis, sisters Lisa Doan and Linda Spencer swallow any common sense they have and actually let me into their shop, Nail Arts, which they co-own. What do I do to thank them? Bug them profusely with obnoxious questions.



Some of their answers were so honest and raw; they asked me not to print them. Since the pedicuring sisters routinely wield sharp objects in the vicinity of my appendages, I will obviously respect their wishes.



STEPH DEROSA: What made you two decide to open a shop together?



LISA DOAN: The place we worked at before pissed us off. They didn’t pay enough, so we set up here about five years ago.



DEROSA: Ok, give me the gritty information: Whose feet are worse? Men’s or women’s? I bet it’s men’s feet.



LINDA SPENCER: Actually, men’s feet are way better than women’s. They wear socks and shoes all the time, so their feet are protected, unlike women who wear flip-flops and sandals. With men, the only thing to get used to is their incredibly hairy legs. Stubble on women is not as bad as men’s hairy legs.



DEROSA: Do a lot of men come in here?



SPENCER: Yes, and they are all much nicer than most women. Women can be really mean. We’ve had women throw their money at us, walk out without paying, talk down to us, and be extremely picky in general. Men are not like that at all. We’ve had to ask some women not to come back.



DEROSA: I don’t blame you. I can’t believe people would treat others that way. So, when you’re talking Vietnamese to each other, are you talking about those bitchy women?



DOAN: Yes, of course. We say things like, “I can’t handle this woman. You need to come over here and take over for me before I get mad.”



DEROSA: I knew it! I am so envious, actually. I wish I knew a different language so I could secretly bitch people out right in front of them.



(A third lady is giving me my pedicure while I talk to Linda and Lisa. She says something in Vietnamese.)



DEROSA: What’d she just say?



SPENCER: She said, “I wish she’d pay attention and stop talking. Is this lady here to get a pedicure or do an interview?”



DEROSA: I can only imagine what else she’s said about me.



SPENCER: We’ll never tell you, either.



DEROSA: Damn it.



[Nail Arts, 4420 Pacific Hwy. E., Fife, 253.926.1400