F***ing gag me. Valentine's Day is here again, meaning all sorts of wretch-worthy couples will be making out in public like it's OK, all sorts of gag-me "lovers" will be holding hands and looking deep into one another's eyes, and all sorts of solo miscreants like the rest of us will be left to wish we had someone to buy us chocolate and wear matching sweaters with. Are there escorts for that sort of thing? Probably not. Anyway, in case you forgot - Sunday is Valentine's Day, so if you do happen to have a significant other (and you'd like them to remain significant), best get a move on.

PREDICTION:  Somebody's going to get laid. But probably not anyone on the Volcano's staff - unless, that is, you can get laid on Xbox these days.