You’re not going to believe this, but I met James Wellings in a bar. Shocking, right? It’s hard to avoid the downtown Olympia crowd as I stroll down Fourth Avenue, the best street located in this state’s capitol city. Eventually I run into the same faces at each venue I visit, and I couldn’t help but strike up conversation with Wellings as we both bellied up to Le Voyeur’s bar for a lunchtime beer. I had seen him repeatedly that day hanging around the streets, and it was just a matter of time before I unleashed my nosiness upon this man with a “homeless” past and a green cast on his left leg.

 

STEPH DEROSA: Nice to meet you, James. What did you say your last name is?


JAMES WELLINGS: Wellings. Rhymes with “smellings.”



DEROSA: Clever. What’s up with the green cast on your leg?


WELLINGS: Oh, that thing? It’s on my foot. I broke it. But just wait. Soon I will get a shave, a haircut, and a foot that can breathe.



DEROSA: Why?


WELLINGS: I begin my campaign for City Council.



DEROSA: What? You’re running for City Council? Excellent!


WELLINGS: I don’t want to sound like Sarah Palin, but I read everything. I read all the local papers, the New York Times, everything.



DEROSA: I suppose being able to read is a good qualification for that position.


WELLINGS: Yep. And I’ll be able to be out there more talking to people on the street. I’ll even set up a table in the park and wave to people. I’m not gonna run around and shake peoples’ hands and be fake like those other politicians.



DEROSA: Sounds like you have a solid program in place. What issues are you hoping to tackle with your political powers?


WELLINGS: What pisses me off is the city’s water quality.



DEROSA: Are you saying I shouldn’t drink the water? Or are you telling me that you’re going to stop peeing in it?



WELLINGS: Neither. The water is fine to drink. Can we end this interview now?



DEROSA: Leave me with one smart quote, and I’ll leave you alone.


WELLINGS: OK, here it is, “After it’s all said and done, I’m still a politician, which means I’m still full of shit.”



DEROSA: Brilliant.