(Bobble Tiki is in the kitchen).
Buddhist Monk: Hi, Bobble Tiki, what’s on your plate?
Bobble Tiki: Hundreds of things.
Buddhist Monk: What are they?
Bobble Tiki: Coconuts.
Buddhist Monk: Then it is one thing.

Bobble Tiki doesn’t give a pile of coconuts about comics unless it’s his hero — Bazooka Joe. Back in the day, Bobble Tiki drew his own Bazooka comic strip starring Bobble Tiki and his wacky sweater face friend.  He’d sketch it out on wax paper, wrap it around a rock (same hardness as Bazooka candy) and leave it on neighbors’ doorsteps.  Stupid neighbors somehow discovered it was Bobble Tiki behind the ring-and-runs.  Must have been his eye patch.

You spoiled rotten, snot-nosed punks today would rather play video games than dabble in porch antics or the art of comics.  Get your bean bodies off that damn couch and check out the art Saturday at the annual Olympia Comics Festival.  It’s not a collectibles convention but rather a fun festival consisting of a stage show (7-9 p.m., $5, Capitol Theater), a cartoonists’ expo, panels, and signings at Danger Room Comics. It’s a place where everyone knows a whole lot more than you do, including special guests Ivan Brunetti (“Schizo”) and Ellen Forney (“How D’ya Smoke Pot and Stay Out of Jail?” and “How to be a Fabulous Fag Hag!”). 

Bobble Tiki caught up with Olympia Comics Festival director and president of the Olympia Comics Foundation Frank Hussey before Saturday’s big festival.

WEEKLY VOLCANO: Is the festival as it stands today close to how you envisioned it when it was only a goal?

FRANK HUSSEY: This is a question I should be asking myself every year.  I guess I’m always unsatisfied, and I’m always trying to figure out what ingredients are missing, but it really is pretty close to the goal.  I wanted an event that was very accessible to the public, promoted local cartoonists, and brought in great national cartoonists.  We still work really hard at those three goals. 

Also, one of my mantras is “entertaining but not shallow” — which doesn’t mean we won’t put on silly skits or sideshows, but I want there to be substance as well.

VOLCANO: Why so much attention on the cartoonists and not the collectibles?

HUSSEY: Most comics conventions seem kind of sleazy and boring to me.  First, many of them have become more pop culture collectible events featuring things like autographs from former Playboy bunnies as opposed to focusing on comics.  And I find the specific myopia that views a comic book primarily as a collectible to be disgusting. John Cassaday, for example, doesn’t put all his incredible talent to work for week after week on “Astonishing X-Men” just so someone could put it in a plastic bag and sell it on eBay.  He wants people to read and be entranced by it.  Comics are extremely labor intensive, and no good cartoonist works that hard for all their labor to be reduced to resale value.  It’s rude.

Having said that, I have no problem with a 1957 issue of “Green Lantern” going for a lot of money — it’s old; it’s rare, and it’s got beautiful art by Gil Kane. 

VOLCANO: Why are you excited for this year’s guests? How did you choose them?

HUSSEY: It’s getting harder and harder to get some of the big name guests.  The book world has discovered the modern graphic novels, and a lot of the top cartoonists are invited to something almost every week.  I often have to invite someone several times before we find a year that works for them.  In the case of Ivan and Ellen, I’ve wanted to invite them for a long time and was just waiting for them to publish more high profile projects.  Ellen’s book, “I Love Led-Zeppelin,” came out not long ago and sold really well, and Ivan’s first collection, “Misery Loves Comedy,” was just published.

Both Ivan and Ellen are really funny (often raunchy) and brilliant cartoonists.  They both have done comics that just got into my guts and made me want to meet them and share their work with people. 

VOLCANO: What goals do you have for the future?

HUSSEY: My personal number one goal is to quit.  Yeah, it’s true.  I’ve run it for six years, and as important as it’s been to me, that’s enough.  It really is a crazy amount of work.  There’s a good chance I’ll be moving in any case.

But the festival should continue, and I wish it well.  I think it certainly has the potential to grow bigger.  The next step would be expanding to two days and increasing community involvement.

The Olympia Comics Festival begins at noon with the Cartoonists Expo at the Olympia Center.  The expo is free to the public. The stage show runs 7 to 9 p.m. at the Capitol Theater in downtown Olympia.  Admission is $5.

As always, Bobble Tiki doesn’t care what you do this week because he doesn’t even know you, and unless you can reverse the petition against Bobble Tiki entering the Olympia Comics Festival by Cathy, Garfield, the Wizard of Id, Hagar the Horrible, and about a dozen other comics, none of which has been funny, well, ever, fearing they might actually have to try and be remotely clever at some point in the future, then Bobble Tiki is certain he doesn’t even want to meet you.  Besides, it’s time to blow this joint and write one more comic:  

(Bobble Tiki is sitting in his apartment above his garage beside a pile of coconuts. He has the barrel of a gun in his mouth).
Pale acquaintance: Hi, Bobble Tiki, what’s on your plate?
Bobble Tiki: Anguish. There is no reason to go on living in this world of brutality and men named Mitt.
Pale acquaintance: In that case, can I have your coconuts?

[Olympia Center, Saturday, June 9, noon to 5:30 p.m., no cover, 222 Columbia St. N.W., Olympia, www.olympiacomicsfestival.org]

Bobble Tiki is going out of his head via e-mail.