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McCabe’s American Music CafÃ'©â€™s Baby Jesus Juice

Cowboys can handle it

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“I got drunk the day my pa went to prison

And when my momma died, I just didn’t care about livin’

And I drank myself blind.”

—Hank Williams III

McCabe’s American Music Café is a really nice place. The drinks are reasonably priced. The dance floor is large, and there are pool tables and hot chicks. Every time I go to McCabes, the game is on the massive screen above the dance floor. Yet, it’s still the kind of a scene a guy like me looks at and says to himself, “How can I wreck this?”

See, McCabe’s is a country-western line-dancing bar, and country-western line-dancing people love to go there. This is the one, only and perfectly acceptable reason  I’m bothered by McCabe’s and want to wreck it. I want to go up to cowboys there and say, “Howdy pardner. Nice belt buckle. Is that the AWA belt or World Class? Have you ever once milked, roped or gutted anything? Have you even shot a BB gun at a beer can? I mean, come on Hoss, we’re in downtown Tacoma. Who are you kidding?”

But I’m a wussy.  I will never utter those words as many of the guys who hang at McCabe’s are the Marlboro Man types — chiseled types who could put me between their cheek and gum, and dispose of me next to the urinal cake. 

Yet, these guys are lovers not fighters.  They dance and hug; they don’t punch. And many drink McCabe’s Baby Jesus Juice — Three Olives grape vodka, pineapple juice, and 1080 Blue Energy Drink.  It tastes like a chicks drink but hurts like hell the next day.  These guys are tough.

Tip: if you want a seat around the horseshoe bar lining the dance floor, arrive before 8 p.m.

[McCabe’s American Music Café, 2611 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.272.5403]

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