They both are owned by Carole Ford and Pat Nagle. They both are operating breweries. And they both are hosting a week's worth of Oktoberfest events beginning Monday, Sept. 29. But between the downtown Harmon Brewery & Eatery and the Stadium District Harmon Tap Room, which can truly claim Tacoma Oktoberfest star status?
>>> MONDAY, SEPT. 29
Harmon Brewery & Eatery: Happy hour prices all night, $3 steak night and live music with Steve Stefanowicz from 7-9 p.m.
Harmon Tap Room: Oktoberfest trivia with prizes, plus German pub grub, beginning at 6 p.m.
Edge: Whomever is running the Oktoberfest trivia game, I imagine he or she can't shred Rammstein's "Ich Will" like the human jukebox Stefanowicz. The downtown Harmon wins Monday night.
>>> TUESDAY, SEPT. 30
Harmon Brewery & Eatery: It's Beer & Brats Night with giant pretzels all day.
Harmon Tap Room: Free giant pretzel and beer cheese with any pint all day.
Edge: I'm not talking beer fondue but rather fermented grains and water meets fermented milk. The fact I have to drink a pint to grab a free hunk of beer cheese draws a smile. The Stadium District taproom wins Tuesday night.
>>> WEDNESDAY, OCT. 1
Harmon Brewery & Eatery: The downtown Harmon grabs the Oktoberfest themed trivia cards, and then pairs the game with Wiener schnitzel!
Harmon Tap Room: O.M.G. German chocolate and black cherries stacked in a Randall ... with pairings, beginning at 6 p.m.
Edge: The Harmon could make Wiener schnitzel the size of a Victorian lady's handkerchief, and I'd still plop right in front of that Randall Wednesday night. Be my Valentine, Harmon Tap Room!
>>> THURSDAY, OCT. 2
Harmon Brewery & Eatery: 17th Annual Brewmaster's Dinner - a six-course dinner paired with season beers hosted by Harmon brewers Jeff Carlson and Bill Lundeen: pretzel baskets and Fall Ball red, pear gorgonzola salad and Creamsicle Pale Ale, wild mushroom crostini and 5 Mile Drive IPA, German fare plate with Black Tartan CDA, ice cream and Super Samurai Barley Wine Ale AND maple glazed doughnuts with walnut streusel paired with Headless Horseman Pumpkin Spice Blonde.
Harmon Tap Room: Brats & Brews Night featuring all-you-can-eat "Brat Bar" with traditional sides.
Edge: Ja. Ja, girly-man Tap Room. Hear me now and believe me later - but don't think about it ever, because, if you try to think, you might cause your little brats to cry like a flabby wiener. Ja! Jeff Carlson and Bill Lundeen could easily rip the Tap Room's "Brat Bar"-tender's skinny little arms off and use them as dental floss! Ja! Brewmaster's Dinner wins Thursday.
>>> FRIDAY, OCT. 3
Harmon Brewery & Eatery: Bring Your Own Mug Night and have your stein filled for the same price as a 16-ounce pint. Harmon caps it at 24-ounces.
Harmon Tap Room: Jagermeister drink specials, a cooking with beer class and 99 biodegradable balloons released into the sky at 7 p.m. while "99 Luftballoons" by Nena screams from speakers.
Edge: ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ...
>>> SATURDAY, OCT. 4
Harmon Brewery & Eatery: No Oktoberfest events. The Harmon staff will probably be out searching for balloons with pounding Jager headaches.
Harmon Tap Room: A German feast with pint prices dropping hourly with the "German Barmaid" in the house, posing for photos.
Edge: German Barmaid
WINNER
Neither. Unless an electoral college steps into the fray, I'm declaring this one a draw. Now, as soon as I can clear all the bribe schwag and beer from my desk, I can get back to work.
HARMON BREWERY & EATERY, 1938 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.383.2739
HARMON TAP ROOM, 204 St. Helens Ave., Tacoma, 253.212.2725
LINK: More 2014 Oktoberfest events in the greater Tacoma and Olympia area