Oh hell, it is almost impossible to read my notes from this week’s Trouble with DeRosa interview.  As I rocked back and forth on Pacific Parasail’s floating dock, it was all I could do to keep my balance AND write in my notebook.  My feeble attempt to somehow support myself and deal with this rocking motion by resting one foot on the boat’s edge and keeping the other on the dock did nothing for my penmanship, or my sense of grace.  It’s fortunate that I’m cleverly flexible, and managed to play off my near-waterlogged splits as a test — to see just how tied-down the boat was.  “Ah, yes, the boat is not going anywhere. Just checkin’ for ya.” 

Gulp.

Did Amber Fischer believe me?  I highly doubt it.  As a former student at Merchant Mariner School in Maryland, the ins and outs of a boat are second nature to her.  This parasail business was small beans to Ms. Fischer, so I decided to play it cool and not ask overly intricate questions.  Besides, how un-fun would it be for any of the Trouble-haters to think I actually had a brain?

STEPH DEROSA: It’s just a tad rocky out here, and everything is swaying.  Do you ever have anyone get seasick?

AMBER FISCHER: No, not that I know of.  It’s a pretty calm ride.  This is just a little movement because we’re docked and boats are going by.  It’s easy to get used to it.

DEROSA: Oh, well of course it’s easy.  See?  I’m handling the movement very well.

FISCHER: Nice splits.

DEROSA: Thanks.  Hey, how high does a passenger get up in the air when they’re parasailing?

FISCHER: About 400 to 500 feet.

DEROSA: 500 FEET?  Wow!  Does anyone ever chicken out?

FISCHER: Nah. They might be a little nervous at first, but by the time they get up there they’ve fallen in love with it and can’t wait to go again. 

DEROSA: You wouldn’t lie to me would you?

FISCHER: Look, you don’t get wet unless you say you want to, and then we just dip your feet in at the end.  It’s a really beautiful and calm ride.  You’d be amazed.

DEROSA: Amazed?  I’d say you’d have to be a couple drinks into some liquid courage to be truly amazed.  Ever have problems turning down inebriated people wanting to parasail?

FISCHER: Not yet.  Unless…Wait, you’re not going to ask to parasail now, are you?

[Pacific Parasail, 821 Dock St., Tacoma, 253.272.3883]