Donning the extremely important title of “geologist” may seem like a heavy coat to wear for most individuals. The responsibility a geologist has on our environment can only be daunting and stressful, I would assume. This is not the case for Bill Creveling, self-proclaimed “geologist superhero.” 

STEPH DEROSA: How long have you worked at LeRoy, and how long did you work for the Pierce County Health Department before that?

BILL CREVELING: I’ve been the principal geologist at LeRoy for one and a half years, and I was an environmental health specialist for the Pierce County Health Department for 20 years before that.

DEROSA: Wow. You’re old.

CREVELING: No I’m not. I’m quite the man, you know. I am even a frequent guest on KVI 570 Talk Radio’s “Septic Solutions.” When I walk out of a show, let me tell you, it’s like the Beatles just performed. Girls are everywhere, chasing me down, tearing off my clothes. It’s absolutely unreal.

DEROSA: Yeah, right. You deal with septic issues. It’s basically dealing with a bunch of crap, literally. I don’t know what woman would tear a man’s clothes off over that. Unless they were covered in crap and the women were trying to get rid of the smell. Do you pump septic systems? Do you pump the crap, Bill?

CREVELING: No, I don’t pump the crap, Steph. That’s for the little people. I’m a geologist superhero, of sorts.

DEROSA: Is that why you have three pairs of tennis shoes sitting in your office like some kind of shoe whore?

CREVELING: Yes, they are there so I can run from the ladies. I’m telling you, Steph, they love a good strong geologist superhero.

DEROSA: Still sounds like a bunch of crap. Speaking of crap, tell me a crap-pumping story. I know you have to have one deep down inside that imaginary superhero mind of yours.

CREVELING: Actually, I do have a story. A septic pumper went to pump at a house, and when he was done he found the homeowner and updated him on his septic issues. He reminded the man of certain items that should not be flushed down into the septic system, such as his wife’s tampons. He also warned him that from now on he should throw his used condoms in the trash, and not flush them into the toilet. The homeowner’s response: “I have had a vasectomy. I don’t use condoms.”

DEROSA Oh, crap!  

[LeRoy Surveyors and Engineers, 1103 Shaw Road, Puyallup, 253.848.6608]