A very long time ago I was on the radio. I used to rig contests so folks in Tacoma would win - I felt I owed them something. Tacoma was the first place to embrace my early '90s rock outfit Squirt. We didn't make it big or anything, but Tacomans were the first to understand, and that was huge for nobodies.

Squirt had many ties to Tacoma. Our guitar player Eric "The Swede" Olson was from Tacoma. Lem Durant, the guy that booked Prosito (before it was The Central and the first Hell's Kitchen) was the first person to ever approach us for a gig. Squirt's first release on a compact disc (mind you getting a CD made in '93 cost a deep left nut) was courtesy of 253 label Wrecking Ball. And the first "cool" band to embrace/befriend us was Girl Trouble. It was different. Tacomans were ... nice.

Squirt sold tens of records back in the day. I like to think of "Pizza, Chicken, Burgers" as our first hit (at least T-town liked it at the time), followed by "Evel Knievel" or maybe "Does your ‘wife' like to ‘get it on'?" or maybe "Oregon Grape." Our stuff was done on the cheap, TEAC-four-track-style, in my basement sans processing, before sonically sounding like shit was deemed OK again. 

We were an odd lot. I had a mean/smart/ugly mouth on me back then, our guitar player had long hair that wasn't styled and the drummer drooled and used marching-band drumsticks.

We had vinyl SQUIRT decals that looked real neat placed in men's rooms around places like Fircrest.

A gal from MCA records came up from LA to see us play once. We were fucking awful that night. She did take us out for milkshakes on the company dime afterward, which was pretty cool. I heard the dude from Madonna's label was gonna have a look that same night, but he went to see Candlebox instead.

Squirt will be getting it together again for a 4/20 performance at The New Frontier Lounge. Electric Vee Vee Roark will be there, he plays first guitar and is still very cool. And he's still wearing the same zipper boots he wore when we shared bills with bands named Moc Moc and Butt Hutt! The Swede is on second guitar. During the band's first go-round he was a sturdy, competent guitarist. The passing years have put a flamethrower under his butt crack - he's a fucking monster nowadays! You might know Geoff Reading from the online column he penned for the Volcano. He will be drumming. (When he was younger I wanted him to model and for me to be his manager.)

Reading bided his time playing with Green Apple Quickstep and Duff McKagan ‘til he finally got his shot with Squirt.

Friday's New Frontier show co-stars my buddy Jimmi Davies new group the Resident Kings. Davies is that rarity of badass/good guy. The band co-stars fellas from Fitz of Depression, the Noses and Chief. It's steel shank heavy-duty type of stuff, I say. Bill "Kahuna" Henderson, guitarist for the much-adored Girl Trouble, will be making his maiden voyage as club DJ. I spoke with him on the phone the other day and he's very excited!

So seriously, come down. I promise our music doesn't sound dated - take it from me, I've heard a lot of shitty music, and I'd tell you if I thought it did! Honest.

Editor's Note: Dick Rossetti was an on-air personality at a prominent rock station, but he got shit-canned and now enjoys doing office work in a Fortune 500 apparel company.

THE NEW FRONTIER LOUNGE, SQUIRT REUNION WITH THE RESIDENT KINGS AND DJ KAHUNA, FRIDAY, APRIL 20, 9 P.M., 301 E. 25TH ST., TACOMA, 253.572.4020

LINK: Squirt played in November 2009

LINK: Drummer Geoff Reading's thoughts on Squirt