1973: The Modern Lovers record "I'm Straight". The song centers on lead-singer Jonathan Richman calling a girl and pleading with her to break up with her boyfriend and date him instead. The boyfriend, whom Richman refers to as "Hippie Johnny," isn't unfit to date the woman because he's abusive; he's not boring or ugly or unfaithful. Richman's main objection is that the boyfriend does drugs. Richman, meanwhile, is proudly straight, and he wants to take Hippie Johnny's place.

October 2009: I'm drunk, rolling a cigarette at a house party. An acquaintance - formerly a member of the Straight Edge community who's now as drunk as me - stumbles over, angry, and asks me to write an article that would bring Straight Edgers down a peg.

What happened in between these two events? How had Jonathan Richman's charming embrace of sobriety turned into something that would make this man's face turn blue?
In 1976 (which was when "I'm Straight" was finally released), the idea of a rock song denouncing the rock lifestyle was almost unheard of. But later in the ‘70s and in the early ‘80s, just as rock's decadence was reaching a fevered pitch, some were beginning to pull away and embrace sobriety. Punk spawned hardcore, and in 1981 came a breakthrough: Minor Threat's "Straight Edge." The song extolled the virtues of abstaining from drug, drink and tobacco, and gave a name to a growing movement.

Over the years, the movement, now known as "Straight Edge" spread and formed communities worldwide. New hardcore bands rose up to spread the teachings of Straight Edge. As the ‘80s waned, Straight Edgers became more concrete in their ideals, and solidified. Meanwhile, public opinion started to form - and a lot of people, it turned out, weren't buying what Straight Edge was selling. NOFX recorded a fabulously sarcastic cover of "Straight Edge", featuring hokey jazz instrumentation and a silly Louis Armstrong imitation by Fat Mike.

As more people built a stance against Straight Edge, some in the community stepped up their game. Militant Straight Edgers came to be in the ‘90s. Like the name implies, these drugless warriors take the tenets of Straight Edge further than anyone really wants it to go. Righteous, extreme, violent - militant Straight Edgers are prone to kicking the shit out of drinkers and junkies. While I think it's safe to say that they're only a vocal minority, the first thing I thought of when approached at that party was Straight Edgers' penchant for violence.
 
"Straight Edge is not a violent movement; it is not a gang and it is not a crew," says "Straight Edge Phil" Wilkey. Wilkey is the owner and operator of StraightEdgeLifestyle.co.uk, and officially made his pledge to join the movement in 2000.

Somewhat unsurprisingly, he denies that a violent element exists in the community.

"In the past, the media has attempted to portray Straight Edge as a gang, but that couldn't be further from the truth," Wilkey continues. "We're just a group of kids that abstain from drugs because we can see what decadence breeds in people: hatred, bigoted views, close-mindedness and small-town mentalities ... I love being a positive person and a positive influence for my community."

It's hard to see any reason why a movement designed to keep kids sober can't be viewed as a positive influence; but to say that violence is not a part of the community - albeit a seemingly pretty small part - is silly. History has shown there are, indeed, some Straight Edgers that enforce their beliefs by assaulting people who drink or smoke.

"I think it's stupid," says Zack Ellis, co-owner of the Viaduct and a Straight Edger for almost seven years. "It's just as bad, to me, as a Christian forcing their beliefs on me or anyone. I have no right to tell anyone how to live their life. I don't care if you smoke; I don't care if you drink. As long as you're a good person to me, that's all that matters."

It's safe to say, I think, the vast majority of Straight Edgers feel the same way. But in places like Salt Lake City or Reno, where these militant Straight Edgers are most prevalent, it's not uncommon to hear stories where a Straight Edger will get a job as a bouncer and attack the drinkers as they leave the bar.

"It makes us look like urban terrorists, which they have deemed some of those groups down there," says Ellis. "It's not doing anything good for Straight Edge, and it's not giving us a good name."

Another trend that seems to take away credibility from the movement is the large amount of teenagers that join for a short period of time before giving it up. Ellis doesn't care if you drink; but if you plan on drinking, he says you should just stay away from Straight Edge from the beginning.

"There's a lot of young kids that get into it for the wrong reason that I've seen just come and go very quickly," Ellis continues. "It's disrespectful to Straight Edge if you're just going to go out and claim it and then six months later say ‘Oh, I don't want to do that anymore.' You really have to pay attention to what you're doing and think about the commitment you're making to something."

I agree. Any organization where people can frivolously join and leave as soon as the phase has passed instantly loses credibility. But there's another issue at work here, and I hesitate to bring it up. It concerns the flipside of Ellis' issue with the frivolity with which young people become Straight Edge.

You see, the Amish have a thing called Rumspringa, where a member of the Amish community - at the age of 16 - is given the opportunity to live abroad and experience all of the things Amish life denies them: drugs, drinking, sex, technology. They are allowed to experience all of this for a few years before deciding whether or not they will commit to the Amish way of life. Most ultimately do return and remain Amish, but some never look back.

Most people who become Straight Edgers indulged in drugs and drinking before denouncing them to join the movement. This is the way it should be. Unfortunately, there are a lot of kids that join Straight Edge without the benefit of experience. I think these are the kids that Ellis was referring to.

I spoke with a former Straight Edger, and she said that after a few years in the community, she decided to go on what was ostensibly a Rumspringa. She tried all of the things she was missing in Straight Edge, telling herself that once she had tried them all, she'd go back. Well, she didn't. While it seems a little sketchy to promote drugs or drinking this way, it's also fairly obvious that denying yourself these experiences entirely also has its drawbacks - and traps. Besides, just like the Amish, if one is inclined to join Straight Edge anyway a drink or two should only strengthen their convictions.

Of course, what it really comes down to is personal choice, for everyone - including Straight Edgers, drunk me rolling cigarettes at parties, and the dude that asked me to bring Straight Edgers down to size in print. Jonathan Richman was off base when he tried to convince his crush to drop Hippie Johnny; likewise, my acquaintance at the party was wrong too.

When done right and without kicking the shit out of anyone, I believe Straight Edge can comfortably exist side by side with the lifestyle I enjoy.

Maybe that makes me an optimist, and maybe that's not such a bad thing.