Want to feel fucking old in a hurry? And I mean real old. Like, Brett Favre old. First, look at yourself naked in the mirror the next time you get out of the shower. That ought to do it. But, if by some chance that doesn’t’ work, try showing up to Madison Drive’s show at Hell’s Kitchen on Wednesday. Faux hawk rock at its finest, Madison Drive is a Seattle based six-piece band of pierced and tweeting rockers that truly makes me realize just how passed my prime I already am. Part punk rock, part text message shorthand, Madison Drive has made headway with the kiddies thanks to a well-honed image and ear friendly riffs. And, of course, taking the stage at Warped Tour didn’t hurt. I’d go into more depth about what this band sounds like, but Madison Drive’s blasted MySpace page makes my computer crash from a neon and necktie overload. OMG! LOL!

[Hell’s Kitchen, with Gavin Castleton,  Gardening Not Architecture, At Night, Ophelia’s Thunder, 6 p.m., all ages, $8 advance, $10 DOS, 3829 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.759.6003]