He called me a “piece of cheese.” Ray from Roy, the uber-president of my imaginary fan club consisting of three members (Hi dad!), referred to me as a wedge of moldy milk. As I entered Shamrock Tavern on Pacific Avenue near Spanaway, I located the only open bar top seat and introduced myself to bartender Mike. It was at that moment that Ray from Roy popped out of the Shamrock’s fixtures like a rabid squirrel hiding in the bushes and hugged me. Apparently he reads the Bar Exam, and apparently he likes it. This made my freakin’ day. Even if he called me a “piece of cheese.”
 
I tell ya what, the Shamrock Tavern is one of the nicest speculated dive bars I’ve ever stepped foot in, regardless of how from the outside the building looks like an old, dilapidated shanty on Pacific Avenue South. Nicely tiled floor, wooden wainscoting along the walls, un-torn and perfectly matched barstools and booths — this place is simply gorgeous. Even the large, perfectly polished bar came equipped with two grand, brass beer taps hosting about five yummy micro handles, five cheap domestics, and a Guinness Stout.
 
The small amount of pull tabs available behind the bar is hardly noticeable, and the neon beer signage is kept out of the windows and to a minimum. Hell, even if this place is displaying St. Patrick’s Day décor at the end of May, they can do that, right? They’re the Shamrock Tavern, for fuck’s sake! What Ray from Roy made sure I noticed, and what quickly became my favorite part of the Shamrock, was the wall of “pukefest pictures.”
 
I was so glad that I had finally reached one wall of shame my ugly mug hadn’t become a part of. My family would be proud.

Shamrock Tavern

11118 Pacific Ave S., Tacoma, 253.531.8055
 
Beer: Beer only with large, cold glasses for large, cold beers.
Food: Full menu, but well-known for their delicious Grinders at $7.95.
 
Bar Exam Dive Grade: “A+” on the bar-scale. “C-” on the dive-scale.