Sumner is a quaint little town with a quaint little downtown shopping district and quaint little dining establishments all within a quaint walk from each other. Around the corner from this quaint area is some of the best coffee and best time spent — Beyond the Bridge Café. But if you stick inside the bowels of quaint downtown Sumner you’ll find one of my favorite family-owned Italian restaurants called Sorci’s Italian Cafe.

As I take a wine break and step inside Sorci’s restroom, I immediately feel as though I am in some Italian grandmother’s personal “bagno.” There’s a vanity dresser, flowers and framed art. This is no typical boring lavatory.

Someone took the time to decorate this restroom, and this someone wasn’t lazy. Without delay, I recalled my Canadian friend’s recent question, “Why is everyone already voting when there are still13 days left until Election Day?” She had seen the multiple MySpace headlines stating that some of us had already voted, and it confused her, from her Canadian standpoint. I explained that we voted by absentee ballot. Then I joked about how we’re lazy Americans and voting is easier by mail, as opposed to showing up at an official polling station on November 4th.

No, I don’t really think an absentee ballot is lazy. I actually think it’s brilliant. What’s going to motivate the typical blasé non-voter to vote? Mail it to them. Put it in front of their face. Then they have no reason not to have a say in the future of their country.

Then I thought about what “lazy” really is.

“Lazy” is the person who waits five minutes for a parking spot close to entrance doors. Park your car in the back and move your ass across the parking lot. It’s not that hard. Oh, it’s raining? YOU LIVE IN WASHINGTON! Get used to it! You’d be in the damn store already, but no, you’re waiting for that stupid spot. I’m not denying that I get pumped up when I do actually score the presidential parking space, but I’m not going to block traffic and wait for it. I’ll point at the person and laugh as I beat them into the store and grab that last sales item that their McDonald’s eating daughter is going to cry about not getting for Christmas this year — because they were too lazy to walk from a farther parking spot. Sucka.

I can think of only four defenses off the top of my head for insisting on a close parking spot (besides being handicapped):

• pregnancy or newborn infant


• injury


• large cargo to carry in


• unsafe parking lot

Other than those reasons, you’re probably just plain lazy.

Wanna know something even lazier? People who do the aforementioned at the gym. Dude, you’re going to work out anyway. Walk the extra block.

OK, now onto something a little lazy, but done more out of stupidity than laziness: TVs in cars. Long road trips with kids? I get it. At a stoplight on the way to the grocery store? Stupid. Are you THAT addicted to TV? What are you teaching your child? Having a conversation in the car is wrong? Look, I’m not one to usually pass judgment on how people parent, but this TV in the car thing is out of control. That’s where I draw the line.

I finish up in Nana Sorci’s bagno, head out to finish my wine, and rest back in my chair while enjoying the company at my table. I typically don’t consider myself lazy, but I sure don’t mind sitting back and letting Sorci’s servers bring me wine and cheeses. That’s not lazy, that’s extraordinarily awesome. Now I’ll just have to make sure I park farther at the gym next time.

[Sorci’s Italian Café, 1012 Ryan Ave., Sumner, 253.891.8400]