Europa Bistro in Tacoma’s Proctor District will spark your taste buds the minute you walk inside its doors. With fine Italian veggies grilling and the scent of warm bread in the air — hunger is bound to overtake your body. Only the tastiest ingredients are carried inside Europa’s open-air kitchen, and this all makes my belly as happy as can be.



JCB and I were catching up over the best warm seafood salad I’ve ever had and discussing last week’s attended events. I had run into her at the opening night of The Hub’s art show featuring Steve Naccarato. I was there with Jenny Fab, and we were leaving the art event early in order to attend another major Tacoma happening: The Tacoma Film Festival’s awards ceremony, which concluded the seven-day-long film festival held at the Grand Cinema. I was one of the fortunate few in attendance who would be presenting an award to one lucky local filmmaker.



Before I began to tell her of my interesting, outrageously entertaining evening, I needed a potty-break. As I sat upon Europa’s private throne, I admired what a fine place Europa Bistro’s owners Alfredo and Justine Russo had put together. I also remembered what had happened at the Tacoma Film Festival, and prepared to fill JCB in on all the gory details.



First off, let me begin by saying in no way does what I’m about to say have any reflection on the Grand Cinema or the Tacoma Film Festival. I will always love and support the Grand Cinema. It was an honor to be a part of the presentation of the awards, and I hope take part in the Grand Cinema’s affairs again in the future. No, it had nothing to do with the people putting on the event; it was the people who attended the event. Some of the rudest and most obnoxious guests were in attendance that evening. Just think, for ME to think something is obnoxious, it must be pretty bad.



Offender #1 – Asshole in the drink line.



There was only one bartender for the line of at least 15 people deep who were anxious to get their film fest drunk on. After evaluating the time it was taking for the one lone bartender to make drinks, we came to the conclusion we only needed one drink that evening and it was going to be something quick — like a glass of wine. No mixing involved.



A man behind us in line (I dare not use the word “gentleman”) was apparently going through a male version of PMS. All he did was bitch and moan the entire wait. If the bartender looked up in her exasperated and apologetic way that she did, he let it be known to her that he was extremely upset, and that somehow it was her fault that she was the only bartender.

Comments such as, “Yeah, that’s right we’re waiting for our drinks! Why don’t you hurry up?!” were among the many rude and extremely inappropriate things that came out of his mouth. No, I didn’t say anything to him. It was still early.



Offenders #2 and 3 — Bullies of the table.



Jenny Fab and I had strategically reserved our spots at one of the round tables that we were to dine at for the evening. We placed our personal belongings under and on top of our chairs. We also used the universal code for “this seat is taken” by placing our napkins over the backs of our chairs.



Upon returning from the 20-minutes-for-a-glass-of-wine wait, my stuff had been moved (not Jenny’s) and someone had taken my seat. After a few minutes of disbelief, Jenny Fab and I moved that person’s stuff over, and I sat down to enjoy my wine. Within minutes the culprit returned stating that she had moved my stuff because, “We didn’t want to sit with our backs to the stage.” What? Like we did? Reserve your seat at the table earlier then, bitch.



Her friend shortly returned with her full plate of food from the scrumptious buffet line, only to have taken my plate by mistake. Did she offer to find me a plate? No, she and her friend just sat and whispered and laughed while they watched us find me another plate. THEN, when we returned to the table to eat, my napkin was completely gone. They watched me get up, look on the floor, walk around, then go find a clean napkin. Upon my return to my seat they tell me, “Oh yeah, and I hope you don’t mind that we stole your napkin, too.” Excuse me?! What a bunch of ugly women. Ugly on the inside, that’s for sure.  Who acts like that? That’s just plain ol’ mean. Especially at their age. Jenny Fab and I felt like we had returned to high school.



Offender #4 – The winner’s dad.



None of the four winners of the Tacoma Film Festival were in attendance that evening to accept their award. (What a shame.) Nick Lentz won the award for Best Short Film, the award that I presented. I accepted on his behalf and took the shiny award back to my table. I had joked that I was going to keep the award, but I certainly hope everyone there was smart enough to not take me seriously.



After the ceremony, I was chatting it up with Volcano film scribe Christopher Wood and out of nowhere a man comes charging at me with a frustrated disposition. I couldn’t understand what he was saying. Someone translated to me that he was Nick Lentz’s father, and wanted to take the award. I was happy to see him, and gladly handed it over. I tried to offer congratulations, but he snatched the damn thing and then took off. The people around me were just as in shock as I was. He seemed pissed at me! What the hell, dude? Um, you’re welcome?



After a few minutes he came charging back at me, practically knocking down a few elderly on his way. “Where’s the envelope with his name on it?!” he angrily asked. He was looking for the envelope with his son’s name on it. I completely understood why he’d want that, but I didn’t have it. I told him I left it on stage and he didn’t want to believe me. He actually argued with me about it. He went on enough that I essentially opened my coat and said, “Do you want to frisk me?” Then I opened my purse and said, “Want to check my purse, too? I don’t have the envelope!” Finally he left. Crisis averted.

I have a professional history with Nick Lentz. He is a nice, and very talented guy. He and I at one time tried to partner up for a Web site, and we simply didn’t see eye to eye. I have a lot of respect for him, and I hope he received his award in one piece. My apologies for any fingerprints, sweat spots, or wine stains. Nick, it was one helluvanevening, to say the least. I send you only the warmest congratulations on your award for Best Short Film.

[Europa Bistro, 2515 N. Proctor St., Tacoma, 253.761.5660]