It's in a strip mall, it's in Bonney Lake, and there were homegrown-looking men loitering around the front door's bushes. New Peking Chinese Restaurant off Hwy 410 had all of those things, but it was the "Lounge" sign that peaked The KAke and my interest. We naturally assumed by all of the aforementioned descriptives of this New Peking restaurant, that we were headed for the trashiest of trashy dives. And we were right.

As we approached the horde of smoking men in construction vests, all eyes were on us. Why? Because we were the only ones there who were sober at 2 p.m., and we had vaginas. Apparently that was what made us different from everyone else in new Peking. The men even caterwauled and commented such things as, "Hey-o! I guess I'M going back in!"  

Give me a fucking break. 

I headed straight to the back and admired the December 2007 events lineup still posted on back of the restroom door. The KAke stayed at the bar and ordered her beer and my latest dive bar drink - a Bloody Mary. I don't know how the polite bartender heard KAke's order over the ruckus amongst the barstools. Two men, not sitting anywhere near each other, were exchanging debatable dialogue concerning Boeing strikes and the necessary value Unions have on businesses. 

See what I just did there? I made it sound like the men at the bar were having a somewhat intelligent conversation. Well, they weren't. It was loud, obnoxious, and full of unmanly swearing, such as, "There's no way I'm going to take it up the poop-shoot!" The "poop-shoot"? Seriously dude?

I took one sip of my Bloody Mary and immediately determined my drink's tomato juice was left over from that amazing December 2007 era New Peking is still clinging onto. I just about gagged and spit out my drink. I very well could've spit it out on the smoke-scented, food stained carpet, as it really wouldn't have made much of a difference. The KAke decided not to go on with her third sip of beer, and we left New Peking. That place was too much to handle, even for seedy women like us.

New Peking Chinese Restaurant 

21179 State Route 410 E., Bonney Lake, 253.863.4485

Beer: Typical dive bar domestics on tap

Food: We were too scared

Service: The bartender was extremely nice - best part of the lounge.

Bar Exam Dive Grade: A+