City Lights across the street from The Grand Cinema officially became Malarkey’s Pool & Brew in October 2007. I remember the place well as I lived one block away, back in the days before marriage. It was a perfect stumbling distance, and the men who frequented the joint were not the take-home type so there was rarely an instance of drunken sexual regret. Rarely.

I hadn’t been back to the pool shark hovel in quite some time, so when Bandito and Stinky Pinky were in need of a mid-afternoon drink, Malarkey’s it was.

We grabbed the last three barstools, bellied up, and prepared to perk up with a Red Bull and vodka. Damn that shit’s tasty. Bartender Merilee was happy to hook us up with two of them for a mere $5. That’s right, I said FIVE DOLLARS. I don’t know if I’m used to paying Vegas prices of $14 a drink or what, but that was an outstanding price for two hefty drinks. Fortunately for Malarkey’s daytime alcoholic beverage consumers, happy hour runs all day from 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. These long hours of happiness also include $2 drafts to swell your belly and inebriate your brain. It’s not a good Monday unless you’re hung-over by five o’clock. At least that’s what Matt Driscoll tells me.

My favorite part of Malarkey’s is their “Man-day Mondays.” Food, pool and drink specials for the men on Mondays. So basically Malarkey’s is giving America’s beloved “Ladies Night” a huge middle finger. Hey, I’m not one to argue — it’s easier to take advantage of men after they’ve had a few drinks, so the cheaper the potion, the better it is.

The abundance of pool tables, beer signs, and sketchy (yet awesomely nice) men made me want Malarkey’s to be a dive bar, but it was a hard call to make. Rib Eye steak specials made me lean toward dive-ness, yet clean floors and grubbin’ hamburgers made me think otherwise. This one’s a tough one. I’m going to leave it up to the masses. Is Malarkey’s a dive, or just an average pool hall?

Malarkey’s Pool & Brew

445 Tacoma Ave. S., Tacoma, 253.383.3301

Food: With breakfast, chicken clubs and great burgers, you can’t go wrong.

Beer: 17 on tap, six of which are domestics

Service: Social and helpful

Bar Exam Dive Bar Grade: C (not so much a dive)