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Paper Airplanes

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Paper Airplanes

Ye can’t get to Wichita, Kan., on a seafarin’ vessel. Fer this and plenty o’ other reasons, this rum weathered red beard has ne’er heard o’ Paper Airplanes. Wichita is where these sprogs call home. But thanks to Tall Ships taking over Tacoma, and pirates taking over t’ Weekly Volcano

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Save The Helm

Avast, me larkies, the fate of The Helm gallery lays on the balance. There yet be a bastion of pirate expression on the sea of this “renaissance.“ A rogue wave amongst so many of the same marketable arts galleries. Very little of what hangs on the walls of the Helm

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Swinging from the sails

Ahoy, ye scurvy dogs. I’m Benjamin Bill, chief cook of the Boundary Blue. We have kidnapped Steve Dunkelberger, the mold-covered slime of a louse who usually fills this space. He is clasped in irons below deck of this here ship after we keelhauled him under our motorboat. It was a bit messy

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From th’ Garden

I was standing by the pool outside the Museum of Glass Thursday noon, enjoying the new sculptural installation, Mirrored Murrelets by Joseph Gregory Rossano, when a pair of pirates burst out of the pool like breaching whales and trussed me up with rope so old it was sprouting barnacles. “Measure

Pirate cuisine

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Pirate cuisine

Pirate food on the high seas tastes like crap. Food holds often flood, rotting our flour and sugar. We heavily salt our vegetables and meats destroying all flavor, so Cook needs lots of spices, which he keeps under lock and key, to improve the taste. After weeks at sea our

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Have a good McKnight

SECRET TICKET CODE TM = Ticketmaster, (253) 627-TIXS, www.ticketmaster.com TW = TicketsWest, (800) 325-SEAT, www.ticketswest.com TWEB = Ticketweb, (866) 468-7623, www.ticketweb.com On sale now Harm None benefit featuring Jerry Miller, Ed Vance, Jay Mabin, Abel Amers, Loose Gravel, Nicole Fournier, Standing Room Only, Junkayrd Jane and others Tacoma. July 13 1 pm. $15-$25 (Western R

Superhero in real life

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Superhero in real life

I have been waiting for this for years: a superhero movie where the actions of the superheroes have consequences in the real world. They always leave a wake of crashed cars, bursting fire hydrants, exploding gas stations and toppling bridges behind them, and never go back to clean up. But

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Where’s the love?

George Hogg is a British journalist sent to China to cover the 1930s war involving Japanese invaders and Communist and Nationalist Chinese. It’s surprising he survived a day. Inexperienced and naive, he journeys into unfamiliar territory and spends way too much time standing in full view and taking photos. Some of

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Punk-ass pirates

Hello. It’s Carmen, writing from the bellow of a tall ship. The pirates who have stolen Natasha and I have given me a chance to let you all know that we’re OK. They’re not getting rough with us on the tall ship, but this dress is pretty annoying and stinky in this

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They took our wenches

Hear ye, hear ye, all of thee lubbers on the land. We are the pirates here in town who have taken command. We come from waters o’er the land, so very far away. We’re in pursuit of treasure, and we are here to say: We feast so fine, bellies wide, and we’re thirstin’ on

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Safe harbor

CAP’N ANNOUNCER: Contrary to the descriptions in the tabloids, the boys do like to dress up as prancy pirates at home and then chase their wives around yelling “Hand over ye carnal treasure, lassie!” Unfortunately for them, they are no match for their wives, who in turn make them scrub

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Bite Us

Puyallup Fair food contests There arrrre three kinds of people in the world: dem who steal food, dem who enjoy food, and dem who cook it. Me walks the first camp plank: Me the kind of pirate who can walk in the same restaurant 10 times and orderrr the same ting.

Green Ribbon Climate

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Green Ribbon Climate

Yar! Gurglin’ Sid Cooke here to tell ye about this Green Ribbon Climate Somethin’ task force. Way I hear it, it’s a bunch of landlubbers who think the world is endin or something caus’a these greenhouse gases. Me mate Miles the Pork Storm is probably most a’ tha problem. But

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Tacoma Hijacked

Ahoy, me hearties. Tis me, Cap’n Rumgut. Aft much addled planning and even more shipshape hype, Tall Ships Tacoma finally be upon us. Shiver me timbers and gangway, mateys! Tis a time like no other. Wenches and lasses alike be tickled wit’ excitement. Store keeps, sutlers and swag merchants be gearing

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On local screens

BLOODLINE: Director Bruce Burgess attempts to give an answer to the ancient and controversial question of whether Jesus and Mary Magdalene married and had a child. (NR) -– BW Yelm Cinemas @ Prairie Park: 11:45 a.m., 4:35, 7:20. THE CHILDREN OF HUANG SHI: See

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Dina Biblarz

Ha! I escaped from my pirate captors, which was easy. I’m the youngest and spryest on this Weekly Volcano staff. There is no place more beautiful than Tacoma in the summer. With the mountains, water and lush green trees dusting the landscape, it’s no wonder that Tacoma has become a popular

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Puget Sound Bead Festival

When me was hefting a flagon of grog at this year’s Conference Corsairique Globale in Martinique, this February, me saw many a shiny bead lasses pillaged at the Puget Sound Bead Festival. Ye wenches might want to check it out next weekend. More than 125 classes will be offered at th’ 13th

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Hooker haps

Ahoy, Buckos and lasses! Batten down t’ hatches fer a dose of t’ unexpected. While usually ye turn to this bloody page in t’ Weekly Volcano fer t’ views and sheeted opinions o’ Bobble Tiki, today be a different day. Bobble Tiki be gone — tied up in t’ Cap’n’s quarters

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Th’ Duke of Tacoma

Ahoy kids! Hot enough fer ye? ’Tis for me, by golly. Hidin’ in me hold ‘n’ doin’ laundry can only last so long till I needs t’ join th’ rest o’ th’ world in th’ swelterin’ heat. Despite me better judgment, me ‘n’ me best gal pal Jason decide t’

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Murray against meth

Murray against meth “Useful.” “Eye opening.” These be just two o’ t’ ways that U.S. Sen. Patty Murray characterized her stop in Tacoma on Tuesday, July 1. Murray was in this port known as Tacoma to discuss t’ area’s gang and meth problems, and fer a few hours at t’ Tacoma Police

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