(Ed. Note: The Friendly Duck is currently closed.)

I swear to blog, I have never in my expansive 36-year-old life seen so many damned liquor bottles on display. At least that is, for a dive bar. Leave it to Bandito Betty and me to stumble upon a metaphorical glass decanter metropolis called The Friendly Duck’s Decoy Room on South Tacoma Way.

It goes without saying that “belly up to the bar” is how we like to try out our dives, and that’s exactly what we did one random afternoon at the Decoy Room. Like I’ve said before, that’s the best time to scope out a dive bar scene — in the afternoon. All the daytime drunks and divey bar flies sit on their respective perches and play therapist on each other. 

We conspicuously sat directly between the perfectly spaced weekday drunks.  This usually proves successful and gives pole position on the eavesdropping that needs to be done. Much to our amazement, this time they didn’t even bother to notice us.

Apparently the riveting dialogue of women who had done them wrong was hard to steer away from. So much so that Bandito managed to throw some surefire attention-grabbing words out there (crotch, herpes, oral sex); yet not even a flinch was detected from the blue jean men.

We’ve been so spoiled by delectable micro brew lately that it was almost impossible for us to finish the Bud Lights we had purchased. Not that we were given much of a choice, seeing as how there were only about three beers on tap.  But that’s how it goes in a perfectly great dive bar scenario: one lone female bartender, three guys trying to deliberately sit apart (yet still talking to each other), pull tabs, a TV that everyone stares at but doesn’t watch, and some superior cheap domestics on tap. Hot damn, people, we have definitely found ourselves a dive bar in the Decoy Room. Belly up!

The Friendly Duck’s Decoy Room

5026 S. Tacoma Way, Tacoma, 253.472.9476

Beer: cheap
Food: $7.95 steak dinner!
Service: very nice

Bar Exam Dive Grade: B+