A new study suggests that walking on snow improves balance and lowers blood pressure. This study brought to you by Ankle Surgeons of America. EVEN



As seems to be their customary obligation, ho-hum grownups reminded kids around Tacoma that the school days they missed because of Winter Blast ’08 will have to be made up come June. These are the rules, they point out — and fun had in the winter wonderland will come back to bite kids later in the school year. Who the fuck cares, says the Weekly Volcano. Snow days are like blessed little unexpected gifts for children this time of year. Why must grownups harsh their mellow with reality? MINUS 1



Recently, almost by accident, it seems, The News Tribune revealed in a story about Metro Parks’ strategy for going green that the agency uses “turkey poop” as fertilizer at most of their parks and fields. While the Weekly Volcano is fully behind avoiding harmful, chemical-based pesticides and fertilizers, something about a back full of turkey shit makes a roll in the grass seem a little less appealing. But we’ll just try to forget about it. What’s a little turkey shit in the name of good stewardship. PLUS 2 



It’s official — contractors will begin work on preliminary phases of the new Nalley Valley Viaduct on Jan. 5. The $120 million project phase will eventually open up one of the worst traffic bottlenecks in the county, creating a new, improved connection between Highway 16 and Interstate 5. What does that mean for me and you? Well, in the short term it means traffic will get worse thanks to construction-related disturbances. Still, when the new viaduct opens in late 2011, most will probably cheer. PLUS 2



The state budget has blessedly included money for the design phase of phase three of University of Washington Tacoma’s master plan. You don’t even want to know how many phases there are in total. Documents submitted to the state legislature indicate that renovation of the historic Joy Building would incorporate features to support pedestrian and bicycle traffic, make room for 600 more students, and add 70,000 square feet of space to the campus, in total. Party at the Joy Building … um, sometime in 2013, if all goes as planned. PLUS 2



You see them even on the coldest days, when the cruel wind takes the breath right out of your lungs and snot freezes in your beard: people without hats. Hey, folks, it’s cold out! Put a damn hat on! Is your hairdo really all that important? Or maybe you feel silly in a toque. How attractive do you think you are with bright red ears, shivering like a cold idiot? MINUS 1



Total Pluses:  6           

Total Minuses: 2



This Week’s Total:  PLUS 4       

Last Week’s Total: PLUS 17