I’m not very romantic. Facts are facts and there’s no sense lying. As my wife can surely attest to, when it comes to flowers and chocolates, cuddling and sweet nothings, I’m woefully lacking. I just kind of suck at it. Period.



Luckily, I have other qualities that, at least in my wife’s eyes, seem to make up for it. I clean my ears on a regular basis, for example. And just last weekend I mowed the lawn. I even watch Sex and the City with her, and that’s no small sacrifice.



But no matter what happens and how many years go by, I’m not likely to develop a romantic side. Knowing me (and I like to think I do) it’s just not in the cards.



Another skill I’ll probably never acquire is the ability to dance. As long as I can remember, I’ve had no moves. I’m the kind of guy that fucks up “Y.M.C.A.” and offers a head-nod and backpedals whenever a dancing situation arises. I may be able to mockingly bust out the running-man, but that’s about it (and when I do, it’s not even very funny).



Based on what I’ve divulged, you would think a band like Olympia’s Romanteek would be totally out of my realm. If Romanteek had to be summarized in two words, they’d be love and dance — and I’m sub-par at both. You might think a show like Romanteek’s on Saturday, March 29 at Le Voyeur in Olympia wouldn’t make my radar.



Wrong, laser-breath. I may be as romantic as Dan Connor and have the moves of Roseanne, but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy listening outside the box from time to time. Von Iva’s status in my CD collection proves it.



Romanteek’s stated mission is to “bring the love, to help people get in touch with their feelings, and to induce a dance attack.” When singer Ruby Valentine started Romanteek as a one-woman vision in 2001, these are the lines she was plotting along. When then-drummer Le Matt joined her shortly thereafter, the band’s drive only intensified — and the duo created some of the most ass-shaking and contagious tunes Olympia had to offer — and considering the ass-shaking that goes down in Oly, that’s saying something. 



But that was only the beginning. In mid-2006, Romanteek took a major step and ditched the digitalized aspects of their shtick in favor of a living, breathing band — a five-piece to be exact that’s taken Romanteek’s groove to a whole new level. Le Matt moved to guitar and created room for drummer Heather Dunn, bassist Ean Ackerman and keyboardist Ira Coyne. “The five fingers of Romanteek,” as Valentine likes to call them, have been causing a stir on dance floors and in hearts ever since.



“When people are dancing, something special happens. They are sweating, getting more in touch with their bodies, getting out of their heads. Their hearts open up a bit, hence they become more in touch with their feelings and more open to ideas — other feelings other vibrations, our vibrations, vibrations of love,” says Valentine.



“Everybody wants love. Everybody needs love. Everybody can relate to love. Part of our mission is to remind people of their sheer humanness. We are all here floating on a rock in space and as humans we dance, we love, we eat, we cry, we’re in it together, you know? And we’re gonna work it out on the dance floor.”



Though Romanteek has released three CDs so far, their first as a full band is due out in April. The self-titled effort will, judging by the tastes available at www.myspace.com/romanteek, be notches above any of the band’s work to date. Where Romanteek was catchy in the past, they’ll be dangerously infectious from here on out.

“We have just finished recording our latest and greatest Romanteek album ever! It’s our first album with the band and it sounds real good, if I do say so myself,” says Valentine.

“When recording we aim for a lot: capturing a feeling, sounding real good and getting it out there. The switch to the (five-piece) band is AWESOME. It’s definitely the best band I could ask for.”



That chemistry comes through loud and clear, both on record — as will soon be demonstrated by the release of Romanteek — and on stage — as will soon be demonstrated at Le Voyeur. I may not have a romantic bone in my body, or a single dance move up my pant leg, but Romanteek obliterates those potential barriers and has made fans out of even the least likely — namely me. Whether you plan on busting a groove or not, Romanteek’s show at Le Voyeur this week is worth dropping in.  



[Le Voyeur, Romanteek, Madhappy, Saturday, March 29, 10 p.m., no cover, 404 Fourth Ave. E., Olympia, 360.943.5710]



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