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El Toro's Toro Bravos

New Year’s Eve with lots of rum

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What I observed New Year’s Eve at the packed El Toro in downtown Tacoma was that drinking in a group can be a highly dangerous undertaking. First, as each member of the League of Liberal Libations arrived, there was an evaluation process of his or her appearance. People typically want to look their best in case someone present might want to join them in a regret for one night. One by one League members wore surprisingly less and less clothing as the cold night progressed. I must say the League has an over inflated self worth. And they all have colds as you read this.

Next, as some League members arrived very late, they were met with very little that was recognizably human. These late-comers showed extraordinary restraint, because they knew there was no way they could get drunk enough to deal with the members who would fight tooth and nail over the last chipful of guacamole. I will say that I am proud of the Lakewood representatives, who made a valiant effort to atone for their tardiness and quickly sank to our maturity level — Toro Bravos. These orange treats fumed with four different rums, pineapple and orange juice, crowned with a grenadine floater.

New Year’s Day, as I scribbled this garbage, I reflected on the mob mentality. It often runs away with members of social organizations, even if they’re more mild-mannered than Clark Kent. One moment they’re pleasantly buzzed; then, what seems like five minutes later, they arrive at their fourth bar for that 20th beer they just had to have. Don’t get me wrong: We at the League are big fans of the group drunk, but we’re trained professionals. Before you follow our lead, you need to consider who you’re going out with and whether your destination will tolerate you. If not, you might be better off getting that long-postponed Brazilian.

[El Toro, 1128 Broadway, Tacoma, 253.722.5196]

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