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The Royal's Bionic Man

Yeah, baby, yeah!

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Maybe it\'s because I grew up in a house where there was always some groovy Burt Bacharach hit on the record player, but I love anything from the \'60s. So when I walked into The Royal in downtown Olympia, I fell instantly in love. This huge, I mean massive place looks like Dr. Evil put it in a deep freeze 40 years ago and then brought it to Olympia by time machine. The Royal’s shagadelic decor, which is as irresistible as catnip and features every possible shade of yellow and orange, nails the furniture, lamps, and artwork of yesteryear.

It\'s only non-retro aspect: indoor bocce ball courts anchoring both sides.

The diverse crowd of drinkers is colorful, too: To quote Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery, this joint "puts the grrr in swinger." As does my new favorite cocktail, the Bionic Man ($5.50), a shot of Clan MacGregor and a bottle of Rainier. After several, I was a man barely alive. Tator Tot said she could rebuild me, which is nice.

For even more effort, there\'s the Scramble ($5): a shot of tequila, pineapple juice and red beer (tomato, baby).

The Royal’s nefarious scheme of global domination includes a daily happy hour from 3 to 7 p.m., which includes $1.50 wells, $4 mojitos, $2.50 Stellas. If you\'ve lost it, this just might be the spot to find your mojo.

[The Royal, 311 N. Capital Way, Olympia, 360.705.0760]

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