This week’s column I believe will really hit home for those of us in the hospitality industry. Strange things happen on a day-to-day basis that defy common sense and it never ceases to amaze me how clueless some people can be. I don’t mean this in a general sense because we all are guilty at times of the occasional  “whoops, my bad,” moment. I am referring to the folks that deserve the “what are you thinking, you big dumb bag of duh” slap upside the head.



A few of these situations are fairly minor, but there is one that is so painfully frustrating, I hope that if I can help just one person see the light, it will be worth the two hours last Sunday afternoon I spent writing this column. Perhaps the screaming in my head will go away too…



To put it into perspective, imagine a person coming into a flower shop on Valentine’s Day and asking the florist to help them pick-out their flower arrangements for their wedding in August. It seems absurd doesn’t it? Well, no more than the following scenarios that have happened to me and still do.



Restaurants have many deliveries during the week that involve food products, beer and wine. This produces a lot of cardboard boxes that are perfect for moving. Well, recently I had a lady come into my restaurant at the stroke of noon wanting to get a bunch of these boxes from me. She could see that every table was full and I was running around in a lather refilling water and delivering food. I told her it was an awkward time, but she stood there anyway and said, “Oh, I can wait for a few minutes.” Is it just me or does this boggle your mind too?



And let’s not forget for people looking for donations. Now I am a pretty generous person, but this type of timing really makes me think twice about giving, so if you are looking for donations, please avoid the lunch and dinner rush. It could make a big difference in what and how much you get.



Then there are the telemarketers that call during lunch or dinner. We have caller ID and I highly encourage all restaurants to invest in this marvel of technology. If we see an 800 number pop-up, we typically don’t answer unless we are a little slow. This is when we like to have a little fun with the telemarketer. It goes a little something like this:



US: “Hello, (insert restaurant name) may I help you?”

TELEMARKETER: “Ah yes, this Tony from B.S. Business Machines and we are calling today with a special promotion involving your credit card services.”

US:  “Do you know what type of business you are calling?”

TELEMARKETER: “Why yes, you are (insert restaurant name).

US: “So you DO understand that we are restaurant?”

TELEMARKETER: “ Uh, yes…?”

US: “Do you know what time it is?”

TELEMARKETER: “I suppose it is 12:00 noon Pacific Standard Time.”

US: “That is correct. It is lunch and we are restaurant. Why would you think we would be interested in ANYTHING you have to sell right now?”

TELEMARKETER: “Well, uh, um, I’m sorry…”

US: “Yeah, well in the future please pay attention to THE TYPE of business you are calling and WHAT TIME you are calling and don’t be calling here again!”



We have fun….



And now my friends, for the ultimate act of duh: looking for a restaurant job during peak restaurant hours. I can’t speak for everyone, but if you come into my restaurant during these times, your resume will end-up in the trash. I won’t even look at it. You actions tell me that you have no clue how this business works and that is not a good start. Don’t call either.  You’ll get an earful. It comes down to COMMON SENSE people, and those with common sense are the only people I hire.



In a nutshell, if you want anything during peak hours from a restaurant other than a meal or beverage, please, I beg you, do it before lunch or between the hours of 2:00 to 5:00. It will make everyone much happier and the chances for a rewarding outcome much greater. Plus, I won’t have to hit my head on the counter as much to make the inner screaming go away…



Eat out Tacoma. We need your love.