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Hiding out in Tacoma

Escape the population in these local treasures

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Two hundred thousand people.

Give or take a few, that’s how many T-town hustlers there are.

Lately, I feel like I know all of them — or at least the ones who party on a regular or even semi-regular basis.

Just like Tupac’s song said, “No matter where I go, I see the same hoe.”

I have to admit, though, sometimes I don’t feel like being every woman, and I don’t want to know everyone or even anyone in the room.

Being anonymous in Tacoma poses certain challenges since this is such a small town, but I have some recipes to get you covert lovin’.

So throw on your sunglasses and your baseball hat, and let’s go!

The easiest way to become incognito is to get the funk out of Dodge. The burbs surrounding Tacoma are full of unfamiliar faces. Try any of the many places in Auburn, Puyallup, Lakewood, or Olympia.

Casinos are also a great route. The Emerald Queen, Chips Casino and Freddie’s are awesome. So is the Muckleshoot.

But if you’re struggling with the excessive gas prices these days, here are some local joints where I like to hide out.

Bob’s Java Jive — I bet if I went to this teapot-shaped building often enough, I could easily become a regular, but the occasional sprinklings make it perfect for arm’s length adoration. 2102 S. Tacoma Way, Tacoma, 253.475.9843.

O’Malley’s Irish Pub — This place is a bit of a risk because I know a lot of people who love playing pool here, but generally speaking, the low lights and the regulars who could care less about whether you’re there or not are great. 2403 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.627.9403.

Flying Boots restaurant & Spur — This is one of the most underrated dive establishments in Tacoma. Most people drive right by the neat historic sign that directs people to the place, but it’s actually comfortable and fun, especially on those days when you don’t feel like showering. The fact that no one will know you is even more reason for you to sing karaoke in front of them. 614 S. 38th St., Tacoma, 253.475.9628.

Spud’s Pizza Parlor’s Trophy Room — The blue-collar locals are friendly, and they’ll be so busy catching up that they’ll barely notice you’re there. The bartenders here are great, also. 7025 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.475.3366.

43rd Street Pub — You’ll sometimes find downtown restaurant industry people here because they like to hide out, too. 4302 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.475.6358.

Harbor Lights — As the Weekly Volcano has told you time and time again, Harbor Lights has some of the stiffest drinks in town. The restaurant is full of boomers and geriatrics, making the lounge perfect for you and your friends. 2761 Ruston Way. Tacoma, 253.752.8600.

Pee Wee Tavern — I refuse to explain this place to you people. If you haven’t been, you need to go. 7052 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.473.4455.

A little bit of camouflage clothing goes a long way, too, or maybe I just think that’s fun.

Either way, conceal your congeal, and tear it up!

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