Gig Harbor's 7 Seas Brewing celebrates its five-year anniversary Saturday with a huge bash. Shockingly, I can't find a promotional video pumping the party. If I were to create a video promotion for 7 Seas Brewing's 5th Annual Anniversary Bash, this is how it would go down. ...

("Rambo" by Ben Union plays.)

7 SEAS BREWING'S CO-OWNER MIKE RUNION: (Floating on a raft in the middle of Gig Harbor) You ever get the feeling you could just ... I don't know ... brew something incredible?

(Cut to a sinking yacht.)

AIRLINE PILOT: That yacht is going to sink!

7 SEAS BALLZ DEEP DOUBLE IPA: I'm on it! (The 7 Seas Brewing beer dives off the Jerisich Dock, using all of its 8.4 percent ABV and 82 IBUs, it pulls the yacht to shore.)

BEAUTIFUL REAL ESTATE BROKER: Look at the ballz on that beer; his malt is so firm!

MIKE RUNION: It's Ballz Deep ... (Cut music. Blackout.) And it will be at our 5th Anniversary Bash Saturday, July 12.

("Can't Get That Low" by C-Leb & The Kettle Black plays)

7 SEAS BREWING CO-OWNER TRAVIS GUTERSON: (Standing on top of Peacock Hill) You ever feel like drinking a beer can make you fly?

HARBORVIEW DRIVE WALKER ONE: I don't know why I feel so depressed.

HARBORVIEW DRIVE WALKER TWO: Maybe it's your beer? You got to get off the Blue Ribbon, girl. You're bringing all of us down.

7 SEAS RUDE PARROT IPA: What you need is a big juicy, tropical fruit hop nose girlfriend. Grab ahold of my can and let me show you what Simcoe and Citra hops can do to your attitude ... and altitude. (The Rude Parrot IPA and Walker One fly toward Fox Island.)

TRAVIS GUTERSON: That beer can fly! And so can you from noon to 8 p.m. Saturday at our brewery on Judson Street. But flying is for adults only, so leave the little birds in the nest.

("6 AM" by Perry Acker plays.)

MIKE RUNION: (Lying in Semel Homestead Park's meadow, long blades of grass between his teeth) We work to minimize our carbon footprint through efficient operations, responsible packaging and recycling programs. We also recycle our spent grain to local farmers as livestock feed. ... (Cutt's Ale cuts him off.)

7 SEAS CUTT'S ALE: Memo to Mother Nature: Don't think, even for a minute, that just because you've scheduled 80-degree weather Saturday, that I'm going to stay holed up inside the can cooler. I'm busting out my brilliantly clear reddish hue, intense nose of pine and citrus and pleasant lingering hop bitterness on 7 Seas' patio, kicking back with the musical styling of Ben Union, C-Leb & The Kettle Black, Perry Acker, Four On The Floor and Red Stone Sinners.

MIKE RUNION: Pack it in; pack it out!

("Resurrection River" by Red Stone Sinners plays)

TRAVIS GUTERSON: (Standing next to Mike Runion in their taproom, both wearing orange life jackets): Our brewery rose from ashes in 2008 after a fire tore through our first location, and in late 2012, we moved our entire operation to a 3,000 square foot brewing facility in downtown Gig Harbor. (They both extend their outer arms toward opposite walls.)

MIKE RUNION: This is our annual opportunity to say thanks to all those who have supported us and made this company what it is. And we are extremely thankful. A day of beer, food and music in our beautiful downtown waterfront. (They both extend both arms forward toward the outdoor patio.)

TRAVIS GUTERSON: Buck-B-Q will be serving up favorites off the grill and lighter salads, and Tizley's Euro Pub, serving up some vegetarian options and ratatoulle

(All the 7 Seas beers gather around their two creators.)

TRAVIS GUTERSON: And, of course, our beers will be front and center.

MIKE RUNION: Hope to see you all here.

(Cut music, fade to black. Cut to title screen with "7 Seas Brewing 5th Annual Anniversary Bash" floating in the middle of Gig Harbor.)

VOICE-OVER: 7 Seas Brewing is at 3006 Judson Street in Gig Harbor. The party is a 21 and older event. The cost is just $3 per person, 100 percent of which goes to the bands. Credit/debit cards will only be accepted for merchandise purchases, so bring cash for entry, beers and food. The Tap Room will be open for growler fills and merchandise only. Of course, good dogs on leash are welcome with their humans. Lifestyle Valet has graciously offered its shuttle service free of charge during the party. Walk, bike, designate a driver - just be sure to be safe!

Put on your stars and stripes and your red, white and blue: the Fourth of July is tomorrow! Here are a few upcoming South Sound beer events to ponder while you wave your sparklers in the air like you just don't care.

FRIDAY, JULY 4

If there is anything better than life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, it is a national holiday falling on a Friday. So go forth South Sound this Fourth of July and pursue happiness. I'll be declaring my independence from beer garden to beer garden at Tacoma's Freedom Fair along Ruston Way. Duke's Chowder House, RAM and Katie Downs will host music stages with adjoining beer gardens.

SUNDAY, JULY 6

Pint Defiance's Sunday Beer Sampler pits the United States against England. From 11:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. you may drink 4-ounce pours of beers from the U.S. and England for $4.50 total. After you drink your sampler, stand up and shout the winning country.

MONDAY, JULY 7

Five days before it throws its five-year anniversary bash, Gig Harbor's 7 Seas Brewing will take over the ParkWay Tavern's taps, beginning at 5 p.m.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 9

Puyallup River Alehouse has brewer's nights scheduled through September. The downtown Puyallup face for Puyallup River Brewing's beers, as well as multiple guest beers on tap, has the marketing thing down. Next up, Backwoods Brewing Company from little ol' Carson, Wash. Head brewer Jordan Tanasse will load up the jalopy with four different Backwoods brews, plus swag for the raffle, and hit the trail for the 6-9 p.m. spotlight.

Pint Defiance hosts the Stone Brewing Co. crew from San Marcos, Calif. for a night of favorites, special brews such as the Stochasticity Project, and PD's infamous raffle from 5-7 p.m.

THURSDAY, JULY 10

While Van Halen was telling everyone to "jump," brothers Kurt and Rob Widmer opened their brewery with $50,000. It was a slow start. In 1986, the Widmer Brothers introduced their Hefeweizen to America. The rest is history. In 2008, Widmer and Red Hook merged to form what would later be titled Craft Brew Alliance, the ninth largest brewer in the nation. The Copper Door hosts a Widmer Brothers Brewer's Night from 6-9 p.m. Meet the brewer, chat beer history and drink limited release Widmer beers.

PLAN AHEAD

Gig Harbor's 7 Seas Brewing hosts its fifth year anniversary with a beer, music and food noon to 8 p.m. Saturday, July 12. This brewery knows how to party.

The Harmon Tap Room will set up a nine-hole miniature golf course and host a competition from 4-6 p.m. July 12.

Saturday, July 19 marks the one-year anniversary for Tacoma's Narrows Brewing Company. A craft beer-style party will be held at its brew house, the restored Mill Building in Narrows Marina at the bottom of 19th Street, from 6-11 p.m. Dubbed "Breakers Ball" - a fishing community reference to a favorite location off Pt. Richmond - the party will include a performance by Stephanie Anne Johnson, as well as the release of its Barrel Aged Black Saison.

Last summer, a writer pitched the idea of a big-ass Weekly Volcano cover story on Kitsap Peninsula craft breweries; an insightful genius spread over five photo-festooned pages and an extra few thousand words or so. Since such a piece didn't quite meet our cover-story criteria of the Three L's (Local, Low-cost, Low-cost), it didn't happen. It's a shame, too. Next week is Kitsap CollaBEERation Week, and with two of the L's still enforced, I'm reduced to a preview from my wobbly chair.

In a region flush with gorgeous harbors, rural communities and cheap motels, the Kitsap Peninsula also houses 10 breweries between Gig Harbor and Kingston. And, because the head brewers at each of these breweries also run the post office, fire station and delivery mail, it's become a tight beer community. Wait, this just in. Nope, I'm wrong. Kitsap Peninsula isn't that rural. The Kitsap CollaBEERation Week running July 6-11 isn't happening because they see each other on a daily basis, but rather it's going down as a way to bring awareness and strengthen the West Sound craft beer industry, hang out under friendly circumstances and build momentum heading into the huge Bremerton Summer BeerFest Saturday, July 12. All 10 breweries will haul kegs past the Bremerton beer festival gates.

According to Kitsap CollaBEERation hype, the week of pairing will "showcase the community spirit in liquid form. Kitsap Peninsula breweries were paired up two by two to create special collaborative beers. The breweries will then showcase the creations each day of the week leading up to the Bremerton Summer BeerFest. A limited amount will be available at the Fest as well at each brewery's booth."

Participating brewers include Bainbridge Island Brewing Company, Der Bloken Brewery, Hood Canal Brewery, Rainy Daze Brewing Co., Slaughter County Brewing Co., Slippery Pig Brewery, Silver City Brewery, Sound Brewery, Valholl Brewing and Gig Harbor's 7 Seas Brewing.

This is one of the only weeks on the Kitsap Peninsula when it's OK to be a professional alcoholic, so get out there and take advantage of the special events at each of the collaborating breweries:

MONDAY, JULY 7: Sound Brewery taproom and 7 Seas Brewing taproom - Crossover Cask Collaborations

TUESDAY, JULY 8: Bainbridge Island taproom and Der Blokken Brewery - India Kolsch Style Ale

WEDNESDAY, JULY 9: Silver City Brewery taproom in Bremerton and Rainy Daze Brewing at The Manette Saloon - Rain City India Red Ale

THURSDAY, JULY 10: Slippery Pig taproom and Slaughter County Brewing taproom - Slaughtered Pig Ale

FRIDAY, JULY 11: Valholl Brewery taproom and Hood Canal Brewery taproom - North Kitsap ESB

Americans are drinking more craft beer, but they're also making more of their own at home. This is a friendly reminder the Aroma of Tacoma HomeBrew Championship competition is on, with an entry deadline of July 17.

OK, a few beer events happening over the next couple of days. ...

SATURDAY, JUNE 28

Northwest Brewing Company (1091 Valentine Ave. SE, Pacific) celebrates its second anniversary with an all-day party beginning at noon. A $5 cover lets you see a bunch of bands.

Fremont Brewing beer will flow at Morso (9014 Peacock Hill Ave., Gig Harbor) beginning at noon. Casey Gish from Fremont will be onsite from 1-4 p.m. to discuss and pour Wandering Wheat, Seasonal Summer Solstice Ale, Universale Pale Ale, Interurban IPA and Brother Imperial IPA.  There is a $5 fee per person for this event, which will be refunded with a growler fill. 

SUNDAY, JUNE 29

Brett Porter, brewmaster at Goose Island Brewery joins Jere Scott, executive chef at Stanley & Seafort's, for a five-course beer dinner at the fine-dining restaurant on the cliff above Tacoma. The cost is $69.95 per person. Reserve your spot for the 6 p.m. dinner at 253.473.7300.

Let's take a look at people drinking beer in the South Sound this past week. ...

Pint Defiance on the edge of Fircrest hosted Deschutes Brewery Wednesday, June 18. >>>

The Swiss Restaurant & Pub hosted Double Mountain Brewery Wednesday, June 18 >>>

Puyallup River Alehouse hosted Narrows Brewing Co. Wednesday, June 25 >>>

LINK: Photos from The Red Hot's re-opening on Sixth Avenue

Every Friday after 2:45 p.m., when workday decorum is thrown out, Weekly Volcano publisher Pappi Swarner pops open a local brew, tilts back in his rickety office chair and cranks his Frazier Model Seven speakers. And as interns inappropriately learn from Pappi during their orientation, nothing tastes better than pairing local music with local beer. Pappi picks one song and repeats it until he can see the bottom of his glass. When the music stops, we know he has left the building.

Today, Pappi has paired SweetKiss Momma's "Dirty Uncle Deezer" with 7 Seas Brewing's Ballz Deep Double IPA.

"The song was inspired by a buddy of mine named Deezer Hooch, who is the front-man for the band Martha Dumptruck out of Seattle," explains Jeff Hamel, lead singer and guitarist with SweetKiss Momma, the rebel country-fried rock band from Puyallup. "He is a great performer, and I wanted to try and convey the swagger and sheer badass-ness that he emits on stage. It is somewhat biographical, in that he really is "half a gangster, half a pimp, three-fourths lover and all band news" and his wife's name really is Hannah, but I'm not certain if she was ever into Roller Derby, as the song suggests. She really is a sweetheart, completely the opposite of her portrayal in the song."

Musically, it started with a great riff from guitarist Aaron Arnold that initially sounded like a "Master of Puppets"-era Metallica rip-off until drummer Jimmy Hughs and bassist Jeremy Hamel helped slow it down and move it a bit more to the pocket.

"Really, the song is a warning about making room for love in your life, because you're going to need it when things get difficult, and it's going to find you whether you like it or not, so you may as well make a place for it," says Jeff Hamel.

"As we were recording the solo at the end, our producer Ken Coomer (Wilco, Uncle Tupelo) kept asking Aaron to make it more "rough" and "sloppy" - terms not oft associated with Arnold's near virtuosic playing," continues Jeff Hamel, and since those are two extremely accurate descriptions of MY guitar playing, I got the ‘opportunity' to jump in and lay that sucker down. My first, and probably last, recorded guitar solo - though it was pretty awesome to use a POG pedal on it that once belonged to Sylvain Sylvain of the New York Dolls."

SweetKiss Momma will tour Europe early next year.

Saturday, June 21, you can hear the band's dirty guitars, down-home lyrics and whiskey-licks for free at Doyle's Public House, beginning at 9:30 p.m.

Since Jeff Hamel is a fan of 7 Seas Brewing, Pappi is pairing "Dirty Uncle Deezer" with the Gig Harbor brewery's delicous Balls Deep IPA, a massive double version with resiny Yakima Valley hops, hard-hitting malt, leafy bitterness and caramel flavor. It rings in at 8.4 percent, right in Pappi's wheelhouse.

If you're like me, you're probably left wondering where May went. It seems that just yesterday spring began. But now it's time to kick off June, and the summer drinking season can officially begin. The lawn can wait.

JUNE 6

Talbott Vineyard Wine Tasting

Morso will tentatively pour 2011 Sara Case Chardonnay, 2012 Diamond T Pinot Noir, 2012 Kali Hart Pinot Noir, 2012 Logan Chardonnay and 2012 Logan Pinot Noir. There is a $5 fee per person for this event and is refunded with a wine purchase. Any wines purchased from the tasting may be served without a corkage fee on the night of the tasting. 5-7 p.m., $5, Morso Wine Bar, 9014 Peacock Hill Ave., Gig Harbor, 253.229.0187

Emerald Downs Brewer's Night

Northwest Brewing Company will be at the track with $2.50 craft pounders, Ottomatic DJ, prize drawings and more. 5-9 p.m., Emerald Downs Race Track, 2300 Emerald Downs Dr., Auburn, $7 entrance fee, 253.288.7000

JUNE 11

Georgetown Brewer's Night

Puyallup River Alehouse hosts Georgetown Brewing Company for a night of Georgetown beers, giveaways, raffles, dollar tacos and more. 6-9 p.m., no cover, Puyallup River Alehouse, 120 S. Meridian, Puyallup, 253.268.0955

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Wine dinners have become commonplace events around the South Sound, and with new local breweries opening up; I imagine beer dinners will become more common, too.

Right now, two beer dinners are worthy of your attention - one in University Place and the other in downtown Tacoma.

First, Chambers Bay hosts neighboring Narrows Brewing Co. for a five-course beer dinner tomorrow night. Looks as if Chef Joshua Corcoran and his crew will have fun with the Narrows brews. Smokey pork belly tacos, Beecher's double cheeseburger and cinnamon doughnuts are on the docket. Narrows head brewer Joe Walts will bring Siren's Call Hibiscus Saison, Galloping Gertie Golden Ale, 4.0 in Damage Session Pale Ale, Giant Pacific Octopus IPA and his Post-Tension Porter. Tickets are $50 per person. Sign up at 253.552.4867.

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They called out to ye faithful, and all ye faithful answered. Saturday, at the third annual Gig Harbor Beer Festival, I watched the gigantic beer garden in the middle of the posh Uptown Gig Harbor retail hub slowly but surely fill up with the most faithful of beer-goers. Let me assure you, shelling out $25 for a six-hour session of beer sampling was absolutely worth it, especially when many of these beers had been just released, or were limited-edition, or were 9 percent ABV and up.

Around 20 breweries made an appearance at the Fest, manning tables in a giant circle around the perimeter. Tastes ranged from a piney Cascadian Dark Ale from 7 Seas Brewery, to a big hop bomb Belgian IPA from Dick's Brewing, a citrusy Flying Monkey Dogfight Pale Ale from American Brewing, German-style Kolsch Ale from Bainbridge Island Brewing and a refreshing Zythos Single Hop from Wingman Brewers, which was perfect beneath the warm sun.

There were also things such as the RAM Big Horn Brewery's Maibock, which brewmaster Bethany Carlsen trumpeted as "a beer that will sneak up on you." It was indeed rich, with a big kick and altogether delicious.

Another big beer was the Damnedeleven from Slippery Pig Brewery out of Poulsbo. Ringing in at 11 percent ABV, this tasty, imperial brew was loaded with 30 pounds of dandelion.

A steady stream lined up before Northwest Brewing's Mango Weizen - and with good reason. This cheery American/Bavarian Hef had the perfect amount of fruit.

The capacity crowd voted for its favorite beer at the Gig Harbor Beer Festival. Silverdale's Rainy Daze Brewing Co.'s Mind Funk walked away with the award. The roasted aroma Oatmeal Pale Stout had a subtle layer of coffee from Sunrise Coffee in Port Townsend. Worthy.

Festival producer John Fosberg can chalk up another success. Thanks to a sunny day, awesome music by Aisle of View and Perry Acker, delicious beer and a very happy, fun crowd, the fourth annual Gig Harbor Beer Festival will be a no-brainer.

LINK: More photos from the third annual Gig Harbor Beer Festival

"It's supposed to be through the parking lot and past the hotel," I remarked to my designated drinker and co-pilot Sarah M. She looked at me dubiously, probably thinking I was dragging her to another mystery spot the Weekly Volcano editors had added to my scavenger hunt of places to check out. We continued our journey. A water tower loomed through tree branches while passing The Inn at Gig Harbor, and then voila! This is where the Holy Grail of our trip to the Harbor laid.

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