When considering the extra five-to-15 pounds circling my midsection like a useless life preserver, I start cutting out fatty foods. When I get to cheese the brakes come on. I'll keep my love handles/muffin-top/pushin' cushion. When someone asks, "Would you like cheese on that?" I say, "Yes, please!"

Marlene's Market and Deli (2951 S. 38th St., Tacoma) sells a nice variety of alternative cheeses. A package of Lisanatti, an almond cheese, called to me on a recent visit. The consistency is similar to Velveeta; it has a slight springiness; and it melted the way dairy cheese does. The flavor was surprisingly great. Being born in Cache Valley, Utah, home of Aggie Squeaky Cheese at Utah State University, I know what the real deal tastes like. The almond cheese gets high marks for being a 95 percent fat free faux cheese. Other promising full-fat alternatives include Organic Valley part-skim mozzarella and Soya Kaas jalapeno cheddar. On the full-fat side, Sierra Nevada garlic and herb creamy Monterey Jack was full of lively flavor, exactly as I'd anticipated.

The deli case at Friendly Foods (3612 Center St. #A, Tacoma) displays large blocks of pure white, oval tubes in vibrant orange and creamy ivory squares sold by the pound. Labels are mostly in other languages, like Russian, Polish, Danish, German and Bulgarian. Prepackaged chevre, Gouda, farmers cheese is at the front of the store. A silver foil package with Russian lettering reveals a cow's milk cheese in the style of The Laughing Cow. It's a bit firmer and less wet, and just as tasty.

Falling back on the things I know and think about compulsively, a trip to Metropolitan Market (2420 N. Proctor St., Tacoma) is like hitting the jackpot for this cheese fanatic. Beecher's, Stilton, gorgonzola, Spanish bleu, provolone picante, Asiago Vecchio, Manteche, French Brie - Met Market has it all. The grocery store's "Specialty Cheese Lead," Julia Powers, is a friendly, familiar face. For years Powers, along with counterpart Michelle Marshall, have offered cheese classes twice monthly. Learning the types, textures, parings and tastes is integral to developing your palate when it comes to cheese. The small bits basket holds little chunks of gourmet cheeses priced to move. Ranging from $1.75-$5, they are perfect for taste testing before committing to buy an $18 piece as big as your hand. Classes begin again at Met Market in January. 

Next in line for variety, Tacoma Boys (5602 Sixth Ave., Tacoma) sells more than 30 different cheeses from across the United States and the world. My personal favorite is Yancey's Fancy Hot Wasabi Horseradish. An artisan aged cheddar made in New York, it's spicy and smooth and incredible on scrambled eggs or eaten solo.

Cheese plates offered at restaurants are a great way to test drive cheeses with wine and beer and accoutrement parings. Stink Cheese & Meat (628 St. Helens Ave., Tacoma) might be the best of both worlds, selling cheese from a deli case for take-out and also as a sit-down dining experience. Cheeses are handpicked by co-owner and fellow cheese-lover Kris Blondin (who, full disclosure, has written for the Volcano in the past). "Le Châtelain Brie is amazing," says Blondin. "Our price is $13 a pound; it's the closest we can get to unpasteurized, raw milk Brie." Specially crafted for the American market, she calls Le Châtelain Brie "stinky and delicious." Cheese plates at Stink Cheese & Meat offer one, three or five cheeses with meats, olives, fruit, breads, etc. Tacoma-based Backcountry Creamery makes a handful of cheeses offered at Stink, including Camp Chego, Day Hike Havarti, Camper's Colby, Trailblazer and Summit House. Backcountry Creamery cheeses can also be found at 1022 South, Morso, area farmers markets and the Tacoma Food Co-op.

Humongous chalkboards dominate Enoteca (21 N. Tacoma Ave., Tacoma), a wine bar in the Stadium District. Line upon line reveals an impressive selection of cheeses from around the world. Distinctly earthy, Belgium Pave de la Wauche is murky gold in color with thin rind that adds a pleasant, slight gritty texture to the cheese.

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