In every issue of this fine rag, my hack team of wannabe journalists and I tackle some of the most laughable criminal acts that have recently happened in our area. Then - if we're doing our job - we write about those crimes in a way that makes you chuckle, or at the very least gives you something to do other than search for meaningless gifts for friends and family members you secretly loathe.

This week's Ragnet takes us to South Tacoma, where "Good Samaritans" often carry guns.

Enjoy. - Matt Driscoll

Life in South Tacoma isn't always easy. While the folks driving Eddie Bauer-issue SUVs and sedans with heated seats in the North End might be able to get away with leaving the keys in the car when they run in for that morning latte, at 72nd and Hosmer it's a whole different proposition -  and one that definitely doesn't involve a latte.

According to published reports, a man dropped into a convenience store at 72nd and Hosmer around 10:30 a.m. on Tuesday, Dec. 14. Perhaps naive, or perhaps simply in a hurry, he made the fateful decision to leave his keys in his car while doing this. What happened next, especially considering what we do here at Ragnet, should come as a surprise to no one.

While inside the store, the man looked out the window at what had to be a horrible and shocking sight - his car, driving off, with someone else behind the wheel.

Luckily, this wasn't an empty business a hero in our victim's midst - identified only in local coverage as a "Good Samaritan" (quotation marks included).

According to published reports, as the victim saw his car being stolen, a mysterious hero emerged and asked whether he'd be interested in chasing the thief down. Naturally, the answer was yes, because that's totally badass.

So off the duo went, in hot pursuit of our victim's jacked ride.

After what amounted to about a two-mile chase, according to accounts on the News Tribune's Lights & Sirens blog, the car thief encountered difficulties and panicked near 54th and Pine Street. After careening into two parked cars, the bandit decided to ditch the stolen ride (which definitely amounted to more trouble than it was worth) and make his escape on foot.

As with everything else he'd done on that day, however, the car thief didn't get very far. Close on his tail, the victim and his new, surprisingly helpful friend emerged from their chasing vehicle intent on stopping the caught-in-the-act crook, which they did - thanks entirely to our Chuck Norris-like "Good Samaritan." 

According to reports, as the thief attempted to make his getaway on foot, the "Good Samaritan" went for his trusty sidearm, fired two shots into the ground and ordered the man to stop. According to Volcano Crime Desk research, the "Good Samaritan" may or may not have uttered the words, "Go ahead, make my day," but we find it a lot cooler to imagine he did.

Surely coming to the painful realization that he'd picked the wrong store and wrong vehicle to target, the thief did as he was told and surrendered on the spot. The victim and the "Good Samaritan" then detained the car thief until police arrived. - Billy Quan, Good Samaritan Crime Correspondent