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Longtime spouse of former chairman of Joint Chiefs of Staff still going strong

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She's swapped stories with former President Bill Clinton, rubbed elbows with former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright and even christened a Navy ship.

Joan Shalikashvili has lived quite a charmed life as a military spouse.

Joan was married to former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff John Shalikashvili for nearly 45 years before he passed away in July at the age of 75.

During their marriage, the two lived a life that spanned several different countries, relocated nearly 20 times and forged many friendships in both the White House and across various military circles.

The two met when Joan decided to take a trip to Germany after graduating from Oregon State University with a master's degree in the early 1960s. Joan was introduced to John, who was a captain stationed there with the Army, through a mutual friend who was teaching in Germany.

"I liked him right away," said Joan recently during an interview at her home in Steilacoom.

At the time, Joan had no idea what she was getting into.

"I knew nothing about the military, and moving was nothing I had any experience with," she said.

The two married in 1966, and Joan started her life as a military spouse.

As John started to work his way up the leadership chain, the moves started to add up. The couple lived in Italy, Korea and Belgium- to name a few of the nearly 20 places they called home.

"I always liked where we went," Joan said. "Italy was one of our favorite (spots)."

Along the way, Joan got accustomed to being a military spouse. While the separation from family and friends was difficult at times, she appreciated the fact that the distance forced them to deal with their relationship without any outside influences. It also opened the door for them to make many lifelong friends.

"When you're in a foreign country, those people you're stationed with become your family because they're desperate for family," Joan said.

Things really started to get exciting while the couple and their son, Brant, were living in Belgium while John was working as the Supreme Allied Commander Europe for NATO. President Clinton was eyeing John to become the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

John turned to Joan for help in making one of the most important decisions of his life.

"I didn't think he'd (take the job), because he was comfortable in his (SACEUR) position," Joan said with a laugh. "We went back and forth on it ... I said do whatever you want."

The acceptance of the job brought the family back to the states, and Joan started to really embrace her role as the chairman's wife.

"What I liked about being senior enough was that if things went wrong for somebody, I could help fix it," she said. "There were always wives you could help."

The position also opened the doors for once-in-a-lifetime experiences, such as christening a Navy ship. Joan smashed the bottle into the guided missile destroyer USS Decatur in November of 1996. The crew put the pieces of the bottle in a custom made box with a plaque on it, which Joan keeps in the den in her house.

"That's my ship," she said with a wide grin.

And while she still has moments when she gets teary-eyed speaking about her deceased husband, Joan's many volunteering commitments keep her busy. She works shifts at the United Service Organization's McChord Center in addition to serving on the board, and she is active in the Philanthropic Educational Organization, a nonprofit that promotes educational opportunities for women through scholarships, grants, awards and loans.

Through it all, she takes great pride in the fact that she was right there with John as he rose through the ranks to become a four-star general and chairman of the Joint Chiefs.

"You need to be committed to your husband's career," she said. "It's a package deal."

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