It's nearly that time again - time to sigh and make promises to eliminate supposedly bad things from our lives. But what if we didn't have to? What if there was a way to just do these "bad things" better?

Eat red meat

RESOLUTION NO. 1: Let 2011 be the year of the steak
By Jennifer Johnson

I love red meat. I'd almost rather sacrifice the little toe on my left foot than never eat another medium rare center cut of hormone-free beef graced with demi-glace. In this spirit we named El Gaucho Tacoma's Executive Chef Daniel Hutsell our honorary red meat expert, and asked for some advice on how best to keep our red meat vice.

Dining out

Why do restaurant steaks taste so fantastic? Partly, butter melted on the meat gives it that irresistible richness. I don't recommend trying this at home; rubbing melted butter on yourself will not make you irresistibly delicious (unless you and your partner are equally freaky, and in that case, carry on, but don't pull a McConaughey and leave the blinds open). At El Gaucho there's no butter necessary, Hutsell tells us. He says El Gaucho starts with high-quality Certified Angus Beef that has been dry-aged for 28 days, and the flavor of the steak gets punched up with a house-made signature El Gaucho seasoning blend that's light on the salt (bonus). El Gaucho's baseball cut top sirloin is a nice lean cut. Stick with a smaller portion and have something green for a side dish like El Gaucho's heart-healthy asparagus or minced garlic and sautéed spinach with olive oil, chili flakes and lemon.

DIY

Hutsell recommends Tacoma Boys and Metropolitan Market for buying your own steaks. "They generally have a great selection of cuts and sizes and sell quality meat," he says. Dave's Meats and Produce is also a good option for lean cuts of meat, or you can go direct and consult Acres in Zion in Enumclaw, where the cows eat only organic grass and hay.

Easily considered the best cut of beef, a tenderloin filet is the leanest and can be very tender. If you use another cut, try trimming the fat off prior to cooking. To keep it light, skip heavy, sodium- and sugar-packed marinades; imitate the pros and hook your steaks up with El Gaucho seasoning (buy it at the restaurant or Proctor District Metropolitan Market). Also, "using a broiler pan in the oven would be the best way to cook a steak, because any fat drippings will drain off," Hutsell says.  This will leave you with a dish that won't make you feel so guilty. Guess there's no need to fire up the outdoor grill in the rain after all.

Lightly steamed broccoli, sautéed zucchini, onions and mushrooms or just a dark leafy green salad with herbed olive oil and balsamic vinegar make for excellent, easy to prepare side dishes. Can't do without the steak and potato combo? "My father makes mashed potatoes with light mayo, salt, and pepper - instead of cream and butter," Hutsell shares.

We're not suggesting you go without. Heck, we'd rather see you shoot for gaining 10 pounds by Valentines and fail by five than make pointless promises you know you'll break right about January 7. Follow our expert's advice so you can have your meat and eat it, too.

1022 SOUTH: A wall of booze to rival any in the South Sound.

Drink better

RESOLUTION NO. 2: Put down the ice beer in 2011 and become the drinker you've always wanted to be
By Steph DeRosa

New Year's Eve is a time for celebration, renewal, forgiveness, reflection and friends. It is expected that in merry form one will clink champagne glasses with friends while singing Auld Lang Syne, sometimes clinking and drinking one too many times. When this happens, what's the best way to avoid the inevitable next day headache? Fried foods? Better liquor? Mass quantities of ibuprofen and Gatorade? The latter has always been my cure-all, but this time I thought I'd go to a professional to seek drinking advice.  That professional is Christopher Keil, co-owner of one of Tacoma's best bars, 1022 South.

At the beginning of our conversation, I immediately made the unfortunate mistake of referring to Keil as a "mixologist."  (I totally thought I was complimenting him, by the way.) It wasn't until a short while later that he corrected me, stating that the term "mixologist" reminded him of a what a bartender at Red Robin would be called. Oops. Not to insult the bartending skill of all Red Robin employees, but Keil is in a league all his own. He's smart and skilled, and he's done his research when it comes to original, quality creations.

So, what is he then? Craft bartender? Bar chef? Drink slinger?

"We're all just bartenders, we're not curing cancer," Keil says humbly, giving props to other great local bartenders like Jaime Kay from Top of Tacoma Bar and Cafe.

After retrieving my right foot from the back of my throat, I probed Keil for life's secrets, and how to drink smarter on New Year's Eve and in 2011. I had heard clear liquors contributed less to hangovers than their darker counterparts, but sought advice on the matter. 

"The science on that is debatable," Keil answered, adding that in order to stay away from the late-night sickness factor, one should avoid cheap, sugary liquors with lots of high fructose corn syrup. 

"What about shots?" I asked. Everyone has a favorite, tolerable shot they'd down on New Year's Eve, right?

According to Keil, the latest crap-shot that's all the rage is the Grape Bomb. Downing a mixture of grape vodka and Red Bull within a few seconds may sound like fun, but energy drinks and sugary liquor together could lead to trouble. 

"They're OK, but slow down and be aware. Just remember the day after Halloween when you were a kid, after you had all that candy, how sick you felt," he suggests.

Ah yes, the Halloween hangover. I remember those days well.

"It all depends on how much you eat and drink, really. Everyone's different," Keil says, with the basic advice being to drink eight ounces of water for every alcoholic drink you consume. Essentially, eating throughout the evening while drinking conscientiously is the key to avoiding hangovers, along with making New Year's Eve a safe environment for everyone involved. Keil expresses equal concern for drunk driving and acts of violence, pointing out that vomiting and hangovers are not the only ramifications of excessive alcohol consumption. 

"Take a cab or walk," he encourages.

Keil tells me that at his bar, 1022 South, New Year's Eve should go off without a hitch - the well-known spot will be open for its regular hours. If you happen to stop in, ask Keil about his upcoming punch bowl ideas and secret late night cocktail menus, and especially about geeking out with the movie Dune.

HEAD GAMES: Our most powerful sex organ is our brain. Guess what our second is?

Have better sex

RESOLUTION NO. 3: Better living through sexual chemistry in 2011
By Christian Carvajal

Let's face it: Your last sexual encounter was no great shakes in that it wasn't great and only one of you shook. You've had more exciting contact with a stranger on the bus, a stranger who smelled like sneakers dipped in pho. Somewhere around the middle of 2010, you realized your chances of referral sex were roughly equivalent to Dennis Kucinich's odds of being elected president. You enjoy making the beast with two backs, in principle at least, but you're aware you're so bad at it you'll likely spend most of your nights making the beast with xtube.com.

Well, gentle friend, O wielder of the uninspiring wand, O tender mistress of the two-by-four impersonation, it's time to get your swerve on with something approaching adult capability. This isn't prom night, so you've outgrown any viable excuse for being crap in the kit. We're here to help. Think of us as your tabloid-sized personal sex therapist, plus Ragnet and a pretty decent crossword puzzle.

You may remember Marlene Bennett from our cover story last week; she's a hypnotherapist in Lacey who specializes in trauma, addiction and overall self-empowerment. Her clients include folks who suffer from a variety of decidedly unsexy pathologies including erectile dysfunction and childhood abuse trauma. She uses hypnosis as a means of addressing negative messages absorbed by the subconscious mind.

"Positive comments, being willing to express what feels good and words of endearment, are essential," Bennett says.  Even if those words are initially directed at yourself.

The first steps toward becoming a sexual Jedi can be taken in the privacy of your own home or, assuming a liberal human resources policy, office. Get to know and feel proud of your own body. Almost no one is really built like those demigods ramrodding away in that movie your significant other found in the DVD player last week. We're actually built like the hairy, pasty, hedgehog-like thespians in ‘70s porn, back when men were men, women were women and pubic coiffures were like japonica. Our bodies may not be wonderlands, perhaps not even county fair midways - but they're still fun to play on.

Now that you can stand to look at yourself in a mirror, or at least brush up against yourself in the shower without retching, it's time to let yourself be more sensual. Experience life, not just your sex life, in a sensual way. Go ahead, have dessert with lunch just this once, it won't kill you. Buy that Best of Sade CD your parents claimed would give you crabs. Show some cleavage - no, not you, sir. Create a sexy environment. Light some candles. Throw lingerie over the lamp. Miss the lamp and hit the candle instead. Spray a fire extinguisher for a dreamy aura.

"Sex starts a long time before getting to the bedroom," Bennett reminds us, then politely asks us to stop panting in her office. "Take plenty of time so you can open up to each other fully. Quickies are fun, but great sex takes time to relax, feel safe, and let go. ... Our most powerful sex organ is our brain. The more a person uses imagination and creativity in sex, the better it will be."

STEVE PETERSON: At the Thunderbird's Cigar Aficionado Lounge, they do it right.

Smoke better

RESOLUTION NO. 4: Cigars are way classier than these generic smokes you get at the corner store
By Rev. Adam McKinney

I've been an avid smoker for six years now. But, as with alcohol, my relationship to cigarettes was born in an atmosphere where I had neither the money nor the ability (I was underage) to do it right. I was forced to settle for what I could bum or the cheapest stuff I could get a friend to buy for me. Carnival cigarettes were where I started, and now, six years later, I've moved to the even cheaper Native cigarettes.

But I wanted to help you ring in the New Year in a more respectable way, so I ventured out to Thunderbird's Cigar Aficionado Lounge, where I was gently guided through the world of cigars by resident expert, Steve Peterson.

Up to this point, I had only smoked one cigar in my life. My friends and I decided to split it for New Year's Eve some four years ago. Lacking a cigar cutter, I recalled movies where men had bitten the end off of their cigars, and I decided to do the same - which resulted in a disgustingly frayed end and universal disappointment in the eyes of my friends.

I will not let the same thing happen to you.

Peterson (an IT professional during the week and a cigar connoisseur on the weekends) is the longest-employed person at the cigar lounge and has worked there an impressive 13 years.

Peterson tells me he is able to match smokers to cigars that they might like by asking three questions: What kind of beer do you drink? How do you take your coffee? And how much are you willing to spend?

In my case, I enjoy a pale beer and my coffee with lots of cream and sugar. As far as cost, there are three levels: $2-$4, $4-$6 and $6-$8. I decide to go with $4-$6, since it'd be an awful shame to waste a really nice cigar on a novice like me.

As he helps me, Peterson talks about the process of creating cigars and the culture that surrounds them. The more he describes the way they are aged, how they're toasted, the way that different regions and different wraps affect the flavor, the more I see parallels start to emerge between cigars and wine.

"Cigars are a lot like (wine) because they have notes, and there are tones or flavors that come through," says Peterson. "Some are really subtle, some are very pronounced. But once you get a cigar, there's a process you go through, kind of like when you pour a glass of wine, you don't pour it fully, you roll it around the glass, you smell the notes. You're judging everything before you put it on your palate. It's the same with a cigar."

Peterson matches me with a light Dominican cigar called VegaFina, with a price tag of $5. It has a torpedo shape, which indicates that it was rolled by a master roller with at least 25 years of experience.

I clipped off the end and made sure to thoroughly heat up the other end until it was glowing red before I started smoking. While there is some disagreement about whether or not to inhale, Peterson says he does, and so I did too.

At first the cigar came on strong, and I got a little bit of a buzz. But the more I smoked the easier it got.

The most important thing to know about cigars is that they are to be enjoyed. Ideally, an entire cigar should be smoked in one sitting. The main purpose, like with a nice glass of wine or scotch, is to relax. I sat in the lounge with other cigar enthusiasts, and happily puffed away while we watched the game.

And that's a sentence I never thought I'd write.

DR. DANIEL CLERC: He thinks you should stop playing video games in bed.

Sleep Better

RESOLUTION NO. 5: Sleeping more won't make you lazy, it will make you awesome
By Brett Cihon

Sleep. Nestled under a warm down comforter, nodding off into the cozy abyss. Swirling through dreams of fortune, fame and Leighton Meester from Gossip Girl. Whether a short catnap or a long snooze, is there anything sweeter?

But as our lives become increasingly chaotic, our days filled with conference calls, commutes and obligations, does anyone really feel like they get enough sleep? We here at the Weekly Volcano sure don't. Long nights scrutinizing copy, toiling under the watchful gaze of our Editor-in-Tyrant Matt "The Hammer" Driscoll. Eight hours are a rarity. Hell, I'm lucky if I can even make it through one solid night without waking up in a cold sweats from nightmares about Driscoll's dreaded red pen.

In an effort to fix our tired days and sleepless nights, the Weekly Volcano has made it a New Year's resolution to sleep better. And in order to figure out exactly how to sleep better, we enlisted the help of Dr. Daniel Clerc.

Dr. Clerc is a board-certified sleep disorder specialist. He is the Medical Director of the Tacoma Sleep Clinic, a local clinic that treats a variety of psychological, neurological and pulmonary issues affecting sleep. Or, to put in Dr. Clerc's words, the Tacoma Sleep Clinic treats, "anything that goes bump in the night."

Dr. Clerc first laid out some guidelines for what exactly a good night's sleep means. The good doctor emphasized that the amount of sleep needed is typically age specific, with adults requiring somewhere between seven and eight hours a night.

"Some people need a little more, some need a little less," Dr. Clerc said. "It just depends."

Yet with days packed to the max with work and family, many individuals fall short of the recommended dosage of nightly sleep. Dr. Clerc said the leading cause of daytime sleepiness isn't a clinical ailment, but a sort of self-imposed sleep deprivation.

"We're a very hard-driving society," Dr. Clerc says. "People are working harder. They're going to bed later and getting up earlier. There's a contraction in the amount of time individuals spend sleeping."

Dr. Clerc suggests that sleeping the appropriate number of hours is one of the best ways to combat daytime sleepiness. He also says individuals should seek out quality sleep that is devoid of any distractions. Sleeping with animals in the room, the TV blaring or the amp speakers pushed to 11 hinders quality sleep. Dr. Clerc says a bedroom should be designed to be  "dark, quiet and comfortable."

Dr. Clerc goes on to recommend the bed be used largely for sleep, saying that other activities such as video games and watching TV in bed "sully" the sleep experience.

"There's really only two things that should be going on in a bed: sleep and sex," Dr. Clerc says. "It's when other activities become associated with the bed that the bed becomes a troublesome place."

Dr. Clerc also suggests that people generally underestimate the power that stimulants such as coffee and cigarettes can have over a night's sleep. He said alcohol (oh, please let this be good) can help a person fall asleep (yes!), but as an individual's blood alcohol level drops, sleep becomes fragmented and disrupted (bummer).

Finally, Dr. Clerc recognizes that even with the best intentions, life has a tendency to get in the way of a quality night's sleep. Luckily though, nine times out of ten sleep problems are a behavioral issue, and can be solved by simple adjustments in lifestyle.   

"The most important aspect of quality sleep is just recognizing those things in your life that are interfering with your sleep process," Dr. Clerc says.

Simple, no? Well, maybe. Kick the cat out of the bed, shut of Call of Duty,  cut out the triple-shot mocha and sleep might come a tad easier in the New Year.

Hollywood-girlfriend dreams here we come.