Before Joan Shalikashvili met her husband nearly 45 years ago, she knew almost nothing about the military lifestyle.

When she met her future husband John, he was a major in the Army.

"I thought a major was one of the most senior ranks there were," Joan recalls with a laugh.

A lot has changed since then. Throughout their marriage, John worked his way to the top of the military structure, eventually becoming the first foreign-born chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff in 1993. He passed away in July at the age of 75. Joan still lives at the house in Steilacoom where the couple lived after John retired in 1997.

Joan and John shared many great moments in his career together, living at nearly 20 different duty locations; including stints in Italy, Korea, Germany and Belgium.

Over the years Joan learned many things about being a military spouse and what value it brings to a husband's career.

While operations tempos and Army support programs for family members might have changed a bit since then, many of those tips still apply to everyday military life.

One thing that she has stood by is how important it is for a military wife to support their husband's career.

"If you married them when they already had chosen to serve, then you have to put up with it," she said.

Accepting that fact and going along with whatever assignment comes down from the top is key to harmony in the marriage.

"You really have to love to be able to travel," Joan said. "You need to be committed to your husband's career."

And although some assignments early on in a marriage can take spouses far from their family support network and circle of friends, Joan believes it is a positive thing for a young marriage.

"The best thing you can do is move away from your support," she said. "It forces you to deal with things on your own. There are no outside influences."

Being positive about the move around the children is also key to making things go smoothly, she said.

Another thing that paid dividends for Joan throughout the course of the couple's marriage was never getting caught up in the rank structure and its influence on the social circle.

"I never brought up who John was," said Joan of her husband, who retired as a four-star general. "And his stars never preceded him into a room."

But that didn't mean Joan didn't use the rank to her advantage.

"The thing that was nice about his rank is that you could get things done for people," she said.  "If something was going wrong we could fix it. There were always wives and families that we could help."