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Best of Tacoma 2010 Editors' Picks: Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll

We chose The Den, Tacoma Cross, The Reverend Colin, Fice, Basemint and others ...

Best Impressive Bookings: The Den, photography by Patrick Snapp

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>>> Best Impressive Bookings
The Den
Admittedly, no venue over the last year has been cursed and applauded more than The Den, the hipper-than-thou all-ages spot tucked inside of urbanXchange. Of course, this cursing and applauding usually comes separately; for instance, we’ll do cartwheels when The Den brings in a band like Wild Orchid Children, but then get miffed and perturbed when they have an equally cool show that we never hear about. Sometimes, though, the applause and curses come simultaneously, like when they brought in Jaguar Love the night before the band opened the last day of Sasquatch, and we had given them serious props, but again we’re a little miffed that we didn’t hear about it until long after our pages were at the press. But whatever. The bottom line is The Den has shown a massive amount of potential over the last year. They’re young. We’re old. Maybe we’re not supposed to get it. Maybe that’s part of the charm? Either way, let’s hope The Den keeps bringing amazing bands to town. 1932 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.572.2280 — Matt Driscoll

>>> Best Marijuana Co-op
Tacoma Cross
So we did a little research. Tacomans with opinions aren’t hard to find. Everybody has their favorite medical marijuana co-op. But one stood out based on a poll of 13 medical marijuana patients — Tacoma Cross. Why? A lot of reasons. We don’t remember all of them, but it has something to do with the operation having its s*** together, affordable medical marijuana and medical foods in a nice, rotating variety, good people and a great environment, including couches, a nice bar and a big screen TV. All of this on top of the fact that operators are dedicated undeniably to the medical marijuana mission. Sold. 1126 Commerce St., Tacoma, 253.627.1377 — Weekly Volcano

>>> Best Karaoke Host
The Reverend Colin
Show me another guy who can actually make something fun out of Joe Dolce’s incomparably dated novelty song, “Shaddap You Face.” Perhaps Dolce’s mistake was not being born a giant, bearded man with a penchant for wearing kilts and calling people “baby.” If you’ve sung karaoke more than once in Tacoma, there’s a good chance you’ve come across the Rev. Colin and his vast wealth of musical knowledge. Every month, taking a break from his karaoke duties, he also brings cult films out of the woodwork and screens them at the Acme Grub Cage. If you still can’t get enough of the big lug, guess what? That Reverend thing is no joke. Let his deep, dulcet tones usher you into your newly married life. — Rev. Adam McKinney

>>> Best Hip-Hop Artist
Fice
Fice is blowing up. If you haven’t heard his new track, go to ficemusic.com and listen to “TwoFiveThree.” Then watch the video. ‘Cause it’s quality. For the rest of you little rappers: let yourself be led by his example. Fice knows the difference between creating something real, and creating something sloppy so you can get laid. His new cut is a tribute to Tacoma that is on par with, if not better than, anything I’ve ever seen. I’m not talking just music. I mean nationwide promotional campaigns with billboards and shit. Can’t wait for the album. — Paul Schrag

>>> Best Bullshiy Lawsuit
Girl Trouble v. Gorilla Productions
It doesn’t get much more ludicrous than the lawsuit of Girl Trouble versus Gorilla Productions, an Ohio-based concert promoter. What the lawsuit amounts to is Gorilla Productions’ desire for Girl Trouble to shut up about their public disdain for the pay-to-play method of putting on shows, which puts the burden of assembling an audience on the often young, naïve bands on the bill. In legal terms, the lawsuit could be referred to as a SLAPP, or a strategic lawsuit against public participation, which, according to Wikipedia, is a “lawsuit that is intended to censor, intimidate and silence critics by burdening them with the cost of a legal defense until they abandon their criticism or opposition.” Here at the Volcano, we’re firmly in GT’s camp. Crush the f***ers. — Rev. AM

>>> Best Young Band
Apache Chief
This is the part of Best of Tacoma where I get slayed for the next year for my dumbass opinion. This is the part people think of and take way out of context every time they see me buying beer at Stadium Thriftway, making snide little comments to their idiot-eyed girlfriend about how my musical taste sucks, the Volcano’s corrupt and I once said Daniel Blue was Jesus. Fuck ‘em, I say. Apache Chief rocks. Amidst a pack of probably equally worthy bands coming out of Tacoma School of the Arts, I say Apache Chief gives me the most hope that we’re all not just headed to musical hell in a cold, sterile, apathetic, neon-colored handbasket that sounds best on computer speakers. When the Melvins come to town in September, Apache Chief should open for them. I’m calling it now. — MD

>>> Best Of Tacoma 2010 Honorary Daniel Blue Jesus Award
Basemint
As mentioned, last year I made a crack about Daniel Blue being like Jesus (something to the extent of him single handedly creating Tacoma in seven days, and possessing the ability to turn water into Carlo Rossi). Anyway, it was ludicrous, and I assumed people would get the joke. Like, when have I ever SERIOUSLY (or FAVORABLY, for that matter) compared someone to Jesus? Like, never. Plus, I was interviewing Girl Trouble back when Daniel Blue probably still used his real name.

Anyway, it was a laughable situation that inspired a laughable award: The Honorary Daniel Blue Jesus Award. It’s bestowed upon a band or musical figure of my choosing — based solely on awesomeness — and it really doesn’t mean much more than that.
This year’s Honorary Daniel Blue Jesus Award goes to Basemint — a band led by mad genius and all around solid dancer Spencer Kelley. With affable charm, K Records talent and a Tacoma demeanor, Basemint has repeatedly proven to be one of the best and most refreshing things this town has going. It’s the kind of music that transports you to the NOW, urgent and real, in a way Facebook updates just aren’t.
So, grow your beard and don your sandals, Basemint. You’ve just won the 2010 Honorary Daniel Blue Jesus Award! — MD

>>> Best Tiny Bathroom
Bob’s Java Jive
It’s hard to tell if the teensy weensy toilet-closet at Bob’s Java Jive was bigger before all of the eclectic graffiti appeared on its walls.  Have the layers of band posters, witty banter, and Sharpie s***-talking (no pun intended) visually enclosed the already small space making it seem even tinier?  Enter the Java Jive’s bathroom and within two steps (max allowance) you’ll feel like you fell into the trippy rabbit hole from Alice in Wonderland.  Entertain yourself for hours by simply rotating slowly and taking in the scene.  But don’t take too long, I’m sure there’s a line at least five deep right outside the door. 2102 S. Tacoma Way, Tacoma, 253.475.9843  — Steph DeRosa

>>> Best Spontaneous Busker
Tommy Dean
If you’ve never encountered Tommy Dean, then you don’t know what it means to be engulfed in a hurricane of folk music. He’s one of those people that might inspire crazy, morning zoo nicknames like “The Pit Bull of Folk.” I can firmly say I’ve never seen Tommy Dean without guitar in hand, and when given minimal prompting he will launch into a manic rendition of some obscure Dylan or Guthrie tune. It’s hard to tell if this is a character that Tommy plays, but after having lived so long with his guitar case open, at this point it basically doesn’t matter. — Rev. AM

>>> Best Relocation
Hell’s Kitchen
Thanks to the new sprinkler law, which would have put Hell’s Kitchen out of business had it stayed on Sixth Avenue, Tacoma’s quintessential rock club now resides downtown, on Pacific Avenue, tucked into a concrete structure that perfectly fits its tattooed and flamed demeanor. Tacoma’s downtown is still far from robust, but throwing Hell’s Kitchen into a downtown Pacific Avenue nightlife and happy hour scene that already exists with Matador, Paddy Coyne’s, et al., can be viewed as nothing but positive. Plus, the women’s bathroom doesn’t look and smell like something from a Runaways tour story legend anymore, which is nice for the gentler sex. 928 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.759.4402 — MD

>>> Best Band To Make You Feel Better
The Nightgowns
The Nightgowns are a valuable Tacoma commodity not simply because they are good, but because they make us feel good. It’s sort of like “Chicken Soup for the Soul,” except not awful. Nightgowns shows seem to always come at just the right time — when you and your friends have had a tough week (or tough month). Everyone assembles to dance, drink, hug and generally take in the waves of synthesizer joy. It’s like a shot of dopamine straight to your brain parts, and if you’re not careful it’ll make your heart grow three sizes. — Rev. AM

>>> Best Band To Make Sweet Love To
Brandon Beauchesne
I’ll admit that I came up with the category before deciding who fit the bill. Oops. But, after many days and hours of reflection, I’ve taken an educated guess and decided Brandon Beauchesne is your man. While I’ve never consciously put on music when taking part in the aforementioned activity, it seems to me that what you’re looking for is smooth — but not Barry White smooth. Meanwhile, a band like Paris Spleen makes music that concerns coitus, but I think it might be disturbing to have their jumpy punk on in the background. Yes, the perfect compromise is the soulful glam-pop of Beauchesne. (If I’m wrong, please refrain from writing me.) — Rev. AM

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